Hearing The Whisper Of The Word “Can’t” – And Then Telling It Where To Go.

"No one can choose your mountain, or tell you how to climb. It's yours alone to challenge, at your own pace and time." ~ Unknown

“You can’t.”

7 letters that had been in my head for as long as I can remember.  Two small words that have such a powerful meaning.  One phrase that I didn’t know how to silence.

Where did it come from?   Why did I hear it?  When would it stop? 

Better yet, would it ever stop?

I let this voice effect relationships, jobs, friendships, goals, even my dreams.  It crushed my confidence.  I had no confidence.  4 little letters controlled my life.

“You can’t be friends with them, you aren’t good enough.”

“You can’t finish your degree, you won’t follow through with it.”

“You can’t be a good mother, you never do anything right.”

“You can’t find love again.”

I had enough. 

I could be friends with anybody I wanted to be friends with.  Everybody is equal.  Nobody is better than anybody else.  Yeah, maybe they had more money and more material things, who cares?  We all are the same.  We all eat, breath, and sleep just the same.  I am just as good as anybody else.  I finally started seeing myself on the same level, rather than beneath everyone.   If anybody chooses to treat me as though I am beneath them, I certainly don’t want them in my life anyway. 

I did find love again.  I had convinced myself I wouldn’t and couldn’t.  I was far too ugly, stupid, worthless, etc at the time to find somebody who would love me.  But, I did.  I didn’t expect it and didn’t think it could happen.  It did and it is a feeling that is absolutely breathtaking.

I am a mother.  I am a pretty good mother too.  It’s the one thing in life that I have full confidence in.  My kids are clean, smart, funny and loved.  They know they have a mommy that loves them more than anything.  Of course I make mistakes, who doesn’t?  My life revolves around the 3 of them.  If I hear the word “can’t”  with everything I do, they may hear it too.  That is the last thing I want for them.  Now is the time to set the right example.  They can and will grow up to do what it is they love.  They will be able to love, think, speak, read, have fun and just plain live. 

If they ever struggle, I can guarantee, I will be that little voice in their ear whispering the words, “YOU CAN.”




6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. S A Shaw
    Sep 08, 2011 @ 13:26:29

    Your children are so blessed to have you as their mom.


  2. kerri
    Sep 08, 2011 @ 13:37:09

    Love this one…can totally relate


  3. Tracy
    Sep 08, 2011 @ 13:58:41

    Stacy, this is a great one. Its inspiring. You have such a way with words. ‘You can’t’ does have a huge affect on people. It keeps people from their dreams, what ever they may be. It affects the decisions we make in life. Such a great article.
    Keep up the good work.


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