Everybody Loves Love. Everybody Needs Love.

We were falling in love in this picture. 🙂

I had given up all hope of love.  I didn’t believe in it anymore.  In my opinion, all love came to a bitter end.  It was make-believe and we were taught as children to hold out hope for a fairy tale that would not be a case of happy ever after.  I was just a ray of sunshine.

I was incredibly jaded.

Married at 20, divorced at 25 was not how I pictured my fairy tale.  I envisioned growing old and gray with the love of my life, raising our children and having a happy, long life together.  I didn’t picture getting married because of a pregnancy.  We lived on separate floors for a few years.  Nobody knew these things on the outside.  From the outside, we were the all American family. 

The fighting, the games, everything had to end.  There was no way we could raise a little girl in that environment.  You hear people say, “we stay together for the kids.”  That is really no reason to stay together.  My daughter is so much happier now than she ever would have been, had she grown up listening to fighting and not seeing us be in love. 

She deserved better.

I left and I left quick.  I left behind the home that we purchased when I was only 19 years old.  It was a perfect little home with a white picket fence.  We had a golden retriever, a few cats.  That home held my life.  But, I looked down at my daughter who had become my life.  She deserved more.  She deserved so much more.

After a terrible divorce and custody battle, we put that phase behind us.  We went to a co-parenting, high-conflict course.  We put our daughter before anything else.  Of course we don’t agree on everything.  But, we can go places for her and we can chat like old friends.  There are no lingering romantic feelings between us.  It’s a friendship that evolves around our daughter.  I can honestly say I don’t miss anything about that relationship.  It wasn’t a love relationship.

I had to let go of the anger from the marriage and the divorce.  I held onto this for a while.  I was bitter, jaded, just so angry.  I never wanted to think of love.  I didn’t need love.  Love wasn’t real anyway.  The only love I believed was the love I had for my daughter.  I didn’t need any more than her.

And then I met him.  Him being my now Fiance.  I messaged him one day on MySpace (I wasn’t into the Facebook scene yet), just to say “hey how’s it going?”  We went to school together and I had seen him under the “friends you may know” part of the website.  It was small talk, “good, you?” “Lets get the kids together.”  A month or so passed after that conversation and I got a text. 

“Hey kid, do you get texts?” 

It was him.  From that point on, we texted constantly.  We were both feeling jaded, alone, never wanted to find love again.  We instantly bonded and become friends.  We never really spoke in high school, so it seemed so odd to be such good friends.  But, it happened.  And after the friendship happened, love happened.

We didn’t fight it.  We embraced it.  This was the love I dreamed of.  This was/is real love.  There was romance, real romance that I never had before.  He brought me flowers, he still does.  We laughed, we cried, we were inseparable. 

4 years, a step-daughter for both of us and two little boys later, we still have the same love we had in the beginning.   The only difference is the strength.  We are so strong together.  We still have the romance.  Most importantly, we still have the friendship.  We will be sitting together in our rocking chairs when we are older, probably beating each other with our canes.  (All love comes with some bickering!) 😉

Never, ever give up on love.  Everybody loves it.  Everybody needs it.  And it is the most amazing feeling in the world.

When you do find it, never let go.

xoxo,

Stacy

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Vu
    Sep 20, 2011 @ 17:26:10

    This is wonderful. It really makes me think about that song by Lee Ann Womack – I Hope You Dance:

    I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
    Never settle for the path of least resistance
    Living might mean taking chances
    But they’re worth taking
    Lovin’ might be a mistake
    But it’s worth making
    Don’t let some hell bent heart
    Leave you bitter
    When you come close to selling out
    Reconsider
    Give the heavens above
    More than just a passing glance

    And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
    I hope you dance

    Reply

  2. Skittles (@Skittles_______)
    Sep 20, 2011 @ 17:57:16

    Great post today I really enjoyed reading it. Have a great day with your family.

    Add this Fun Family Activities link to your site.

    Reply

  3. Tracy
    Sep 20, 2011 @ 19:57:26

    Stacy, I think this is the best article yet. It gives me hope. A marriage with a great chasm between the two is litterally unbearable. I know. Things are said in anger that can never be taken back. It wears on the adults and it wears on the children. I’m at the point that I don’t care to try w/ a relationship again. I’m told those feelings will change w/ time & healing, but right now…..I just want to be alone. Again, thanks for your blog. I love the article & it did make me think.

    I love the song too. It reminds me of my son.

    Reply

  4. Lavada Guilmette
    Oct 13, 2011 @ 14:07:02

    I must say, youve got one of the most effective blogs Ive noticed in a long time. What I wouldnt give to be able to build a blog thats as fascinating as this. I guess Ill just have to maintain reading yours and hope that one day I can write on a subject with as considerably expertise as youve got on this 1!

    Reply

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