“Merry Christmas Fatty!” (Learn What Not to Say Before Going Out In Public).

 

When I was 14 years old I had an eating disorder.  Somebody had called me fat and I decided I needed to be super skinny like some of my friends.  I got down to less than 100 lbs.  Let me tell you why I will never do this to myself again.  And let me tell you why you shouldn’t either.

I was born with curves.  I have had a big booty since I was a child.  It’s me.  It’s who I am.  It must be genetic.  For a long time I hated my curves.  I thought skinny was the way everybody should look.  Society taught me that skinny was beautiful.  Guys only liked the skinny girls.  You couldn’t be beautiful unless you were a size 2, etc.  It was so unhealthy to have felt these things.  But, as a young adult, you can’t help it. 

As a grown woman, I think society can kiss my voluptuous arse.

Today, one of our outspoken, obnoxious clients said to me, “You can’t be the same girl, my God you have gotten FAT!”  A) Who says this?  B) This is why you are old and still single, and C) Learn the Golden Rule:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

That little rule is the reason I never speak to this client.  My Mother taught me young and for that I am thankful.  She also taught me to love myself no matter what I look like.  I didn’t a long time ago, but I do now.  I’m teaching my children to do the same.

I cried for a bit after he left.  It was already a bad day, but when somebody calls you the “F” word, it hurts.  I know it’s said behind my back, but when you hear it, it hurts.  Words hurt.  Sticks and stones can break my bones, but I think words can hurt a lot worse. 

I was sad, but I will not let him get to me.  I will never starve myself again, instead, I embrace myself.  Yes, I have gained two sizes since my last child.  But, I had a child.  I have 3 beautiful children.  If I could choose to go back in time, keep my skinny girl figure and never have children, I wouldn’t.  I couldn’t.  They are my world and they are worth every lump, bump, flesh, scar and chub on my body.

Curvy, fat, thick, wide, call me what you want.  I love myself.  I know who I am on the inside.  I’m a loving, caring, devoted mother of 3 who is in love with my amazing Fiance & children who love ME for ME.  Not for what I gain or lose.  That’s all that matters. 

No matter what you go through, no matter whose negative words you hear, no matter how bad the bullies get, you choose to love yourself.  Words hurt, but you have the ability to control how you feel.  Own who you are.  Gay, straight, skinny, fat, glasses, freckles, etc.  Do not let a bully control your life.  It gets better.  You learn from past mistakes.  Some day the bully may grow up.  Then again, they may never grow up (like the 70 year old man that said that to me today).  But, you have the ability to own who you are and make everyone else in the world see how important and incredibly amazing you are. 

No matter what flaws they find in you, own them all.  Own it.  Love it.  Embrace it.  And once you do that, everyone will desire it.

xoxo,

Stacy

 

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14 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. When the Kids Go To Bed
    Dec 09, 2011 @ 15:38:56

    Thank you for sharing that. It’s so important to love yourself and respect yourself…and to teach that to your children. Some people really have no class at all. They are callous and heartless. Keep smiling and rocking those curves God gave you!

    Reply

  2. Tracy
    Dec 09, 2011 @ 16:02:15

    Stacy, I have been the skinny girl, the fat girl & all the girls in between. When I was 10 my mother put me on a diet. Nothing but raw veggies after 5 every evening. Gosh, I did not like her. I remember over one summer I had ‘blossomed’ into a pretty girl, one of the boys I had a crush on noticed me for about 5 seconds. No matter how good I may have looked, I was still the quiet, shy, smart, nerdy girl. Boys like that NEVER like nerdy girls. Once I had my first child I reverted back to a ‘curvy’ girl/woman. I beleive real men like curves. We are born with what God gave us. We as women should learn to love our bodies. My daughter is 13. She has a little tummy on her. Do I want her to exercise for her health? Yes….Do I think it would be easier for her if she lost it? Yes, Kids can be really mean….In our family we have high blood pressure, diabetes & so on. But she is happy with herself. She does not worry about it. I’m glad of that. She is very confident, outgoing & has the sparkliest personality of anyone I have ever known. As long as she is happy, I’m happy. I work w/ some of the pretties girls, I think. They are slim, shapely….ect. They are always worrying about their weight, what they look like in a swim suit…its rediculous. So the other side of the coin does not look any better. We as women should accept our bodies & stop putting so much pressure on ourselves.

    Reply

  3. MegansBeadedDesigns
    Dec 09, 2011 @ 16:09:02

    It is our differences that make us unique and beautiful.

    I love that you have gone form self-conscious into self-loving. Keep your wonderful attitude and press on! you are doing right by yourself and your kids by loving your own body for what it is.

    Reply

  4. Content Writers
    Dec 09, 2011 @ 17:17:49

    Great post thanks. I really enjoyed it very much. You have a great blog here.

    Love writing? We would love for you to join us!

    Writers Wanted

    Reply

  5. Anonymous
    Dec 09, 2011 @ 19:15:27

    Stacy, I know what you mean, Keep your head up, recently at the gym i go to, i went to a water aerobics class; and an older (bigger than I am) lady asked me when I was due; I gave her a huge smile and said, Im not, I am the mother of 2 under the age of 2 1/2; and walked away; People are so rude and do not have a filter; I am right there with you; I have gained 20lbs since I delivered alex (my second child just a short 17 months ago. But i rather be this big then my skinniest, because I wasn;t healthy then; 🙂 You inspire me 🙂

    Reply

  6. virtuos and beautiful
    Dec 09, 2011 @ 20:04:07

    “They can kiss my voluptuous arse!” Could not have said it better myself.

    Reply

  7. Neeks
    Dec 09, 2011 @ 20:14:23

    I’m going to have my teen read this, thanks!!!

    Reply

  8. Jennifer Bessenbach
    Dec 10, 2011 @ 12:59:54

    Stacy, that is awesome, but makes me a little sad. I’ve been the fat girl all my life. I don’t mean just gained a few pounds, I mean fat. Every time I hear/see someone say that they are fat when all the pictures I’ve seen do not support that fact, it makes me really sad.
    I don’t even have the excuse of having had a baby. I’ve been big all my life, from a little kid on and just now I’m losing a little bit of weight. I’ll never be skinny and it is my choice. I’d rather be fat and have people love me for who I am than to be skinny and not know if they like me or my body.
    Keep up your awesome attitude and to hell with anyone who says anything other than what a great person that I’ve come to know through Facebook. 🙂

    Reply

  9. Becky Turner Sherwood
    Dec 10, 2011 @ 18:48:43

    Glad to see many of my friends reading your blog. I will continue to share if you continue to write!

    Reply

  10. jllopez1006
    Dec 13, 2011 @ 14:57:42

    I appreciate this post, as I just got done posting one similar in which I talked about being 150 pounds tops and being called fat both by doctors and people that I know. I was pretty okay and happy with myself prior to that, possibly even more content than when I had been super-skinny, but the rude and uncalled for comments from ignorant people made it so that I could not be happy with myself any longer. Obviously I was mistaken to think that this day and age allows for an appreciation of people of all shapes and sizes. Sad, but true. ;( That is great that it seems that you have made peace with the issue, though. That is what I tell my kids (nothing good to say=say nothing), and it rings true for people of all ages.

    Reply

  11. The Hook
    Dec 14, 2011 @ 14:00:49

    For some people, this is ESSENTIAL READING!
    Well done!

    Reply

  12. midnitechef
    Dec 14, 2011 @ 16:28:38

    Horray for you 🙂 Boo to the old guy!

    I wouldn’t give up child bearing for anything either 🙂

    Reply

  13. Ezrai
    Dec 23, 2011 @ 14:28:05

    I am a first time reader who completely agrees, and yes it is always difficult to hear people say you are fat. Years ago I was asked when I was due…I was not pregnant and had yet to be. It stung, more than I care to admit. But I see these ‘sexy’ women, and they look like young boys. Real men do like curves, because they show we are a WOMAN, not a boy. “Society can kiss my voluptuous arse.” I can’t think of a better way to say it 🙂 Thank you for a great read!!!

    Reply

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