Body Type: Needs Improvement

11 years in between photos. Different physique, same heart.

Fat, thick, curvy, chunky, plump, husky, chubby, beefy, cushy, hefty, heavyset, thick-set, whale-like, pot-bellied, over-sized, roly-poly, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah-blah.

In the past decade, my body has changed dramatically. I went from being 19 and fit to 20 and pregnant. At 21, I had my first beautiful baby, a little girl. At 24, I went through a divorce, my weight dropped dramatically. Ages 25 and 26, I gave birth to two, adorable baby boys.

Between the pregnancies and stress, my body fluctuated in probably a very unhealthy way. From curvy to thin, back to thick, down to stickly again, now keeping steady at cushy, I know my body. I also know it may not be as stunning as it has been in the past. I am my biggest judge. What people like myself do not need are the over-critical, real-life judges we have in our every day world.

This is not the Biggest Loser. This is not American Idol. Leave your comments and your words at the door. Even if you think it, just don’t speak it. Unless of course you are Cindy Crawford or Giselle. Being that close to perfection, I could take a critique or two from them. But, if you are from my world, here in the real world. Just zip. Zip, zip, zip.

I am aware of how I look, but I know first hand that there is more to me than the appearance. I give more than I receive. I truly find the beauty in EVERYONE. And I mean everyone. To me, what makes you ugly or beautiful is your personality. If you can sit up on your pedestal, judging every Tom or Betty as they walk on by, on weight or appearance, you are atrocious. “You need to eat all that make up on your face so you are pretty on the inside.” – A random quote on Pinterest. ūüôā

I come from a family where it is common to hear the phrases, “oh, she has put on weight!” Or, “wow, is she ever fat!” Hearing this be said about people my entire life, I am pretty intelligent. I know it is said about me. But, here is the thing: I don’t need those words said to realize it. Other people probably have the same eyes as you, the only difference is maybe that they don’t speak the words. Maybe they know me for my personality. Maybe, they know that I used to be teeny-tiny, but they realize that I have housed 3 babies in this belly. They know that I am a very hard worker for my family, I have a desk job and while I sit for 40 hours each week, I am busting my butt mentally.

Maybe, those people who don’t judge on appearance, maybe they see me for ME.

Now, here is a little tip for those that may be trying to be a real, day-to-day judge like Simon Cowell, STOP. Worry about you. See the beauty in everyone! Short, tall, thick, small, perfect complexion or not. Find the good.

We all have an inner light that can make us shine, don’t let your light go out. Find it and brighten somebody’s day! It will feel so much better than judging. Promise. ūüôā




Momma, Get Fit! Don’t Quit!

I’m determined.

My thighs, jiggly arms, butt, calves, belly and gobble, gobble chin will be toned by summer time. 

I don’t believe in resolutions because I feel they always fall through.¬† Instead, I am doing this on my own time.¬† That time just happened to be the second week of January.¬† Prime resolution time.

But, honestly, here is what/who got me off my butt: 

Dr. Phil.

I know. 

I never turn on talk shows, I work until 5.¬† For some reason, the kiddos were not home yet, so I decided to flip it on.¬† When I turned it on I saw a few sisters who could not shed weight.¬† Dr. Phil suggested they try a new diet called the, “P.I.N.K. Method.”¬† I am not one for fad diets, but this caught my eye.

Maybe it was the color pink?  I am a sucker for pink, but regardless, I am starting it and sticking with it. 

It’s the kind of diet that seems to be perfect for me.¬† I can do all of the workouts at home.¬† I have no time to go to the gym working 40 hours a week and with 3 kids.¬† No way that can work for me.¬† I go out walking, but not as often as I would like.¬† The meals seem simple, filling and yummy.¬† And, there are no pills or hormones to take.

In just one week I have already drastically changed my eating habits.¬† Tuna, eggs, cucumbers, carrots, etc.¬† I feel amazing.¬† It’s only been a week.¬† I didn’t even get the diet kit until today!¬† I just want this and I want this now.

I stopped taking care of myself after my children were born.¬† As long as they ate healthy, I didn’t care what I put into my body.¬† I was eating fast food, cupcakes, all kinds of sweets.¬† These things are fine, but in moderation.¬† I want to be healthy for my children.¬† I want to chase them around and have them need to try keeping up with me.¬† I want to be there for them for as long as I can.

I need to start somewhere and that somewhere is here and now.

So, will I get to my goal weight?¬† Maybe.¬† If I don’t it’s ok.¬† My habits have already changed.¬† No more toxic waste will be put into my body.¬† I can do this.¬† I will do this.¬† Even if it takes over a year.¬† I’ll get there.

I won’t quit.



Stretch Pants & Tums – I Love Thanksgiving!


A time to be thankful for everything we have in life.   A time for friends and families to get together.  Memories are made and traditions are started. 


A time where you force yourself to eat until you cannot move off of the couch. 

On Thanksgiving in our family, we¬†know better than to wear our fitted jeans.¬†¬†We don’t break out the Spanx and tight dresses.¬† No way.¬† Instead, it’s a time for stretch pants.

Lucky for us, stretch pants don’t look like they used to back in the day.¬† We don’t have to rely on sweatpants or “M.C. Hammer pants” anymore.¬† Now we have the more festive stretch pants.¬† We can pair a nice holiday, loose fitted sweater with leggings.¬† Or we can buy into the new “Pajama Jeans” fad.¬† Nobody will ever know the difference.¬†

Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, cranberry sauce and pie.  Bring it all on. 

I have been eating soup for 3 weeks preparing for this day. 

¬†I won’t be wearing a belt.¬† Spanx are put away.¬† Stretch pants are going to be my friend.¬† I’m not even going to feel guilty.¬†

That is until Thursday night when I am in a turkey coma. 

But, I will be preparing to be out for 12 hours on Black Friday.¬† I will be fighting off other shoppers and running from one end of the store to another.¬† On Black Friday I will burn all of my Thanksgiving calories.¬† I’ll change back into normal clothing.¬† I’ll start eating my soup and Special K.

I love Thanksgiving. (And Pajama Jeans too.) ūüėČ

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!




I’m happy.¬† I whistle.¬† I smile.¬† I laugh.¬† I sing (terribly, but that’s not my point.)¬† I like being happy.¬† I like being around happy people.¬† I like being excited for a holiday or even just a weekend.¬† I like finding things to be happy about.¬† But, why am¬†I finding myself surrounded by such unhappy people?

Can anybody help me out?

Yes, the economy is bad.¬† True,¬†raises at work have not been handed out¬†in years.¬† Gas prices are crazy.¬† Holidays are a lot of work.¬† Families¬†can get a little crazy this time of year.¬† Money doesn’t grow on trees.¬† I could go on and on and on.¬†¬†¬†But, honestly, is it really¬†THAT bad?¬†

It probably isn’t.¬†¬†¬†

It’s so easy to be miserable.¬† I could fill pages and pages of things to be miserable about, but guess what, I don’t.¬† I try really hard to find the good in each day.¬† I try really hard to look forward to fun things coming up.¬†

It is easy being miserable, you want to know what isn’t easy?¬† Trying to stay happy surrounded by¬†CONSTANT negativity.¬†

And that negativity is everywhere.¬† It’s everywhere!¬† Moaning and groaning about little things.¬† Imagine how you would¬†do in a third world country?¬† Imagine what those people live with everyday?¬† I bet they aren’t posting about all the aches and pains on Facebook or Twitter.¬† I bet they deal and I bet they find reasons to appreciate what we are given on this Earth.¬† I’m not a Saint.¬† Things upset me, I vent.¬† There is a normal amount of misery every human encounters.¬† It’s normal.¬† What isn’t normal is consistent misery and anger.¬† Feeling entitled or deprived constantly.¬† That shouldn’t be the norm in the world today.¬† The norm should be all the happy people of the world.¬†

Misery should not be the new little black dress.

I have said things like this in other posts, but I do appreciate life.¬† I appreciate the fall colors.¬† I appreciate how beautiful Christmas lights look in the streets.¬† I appreciate high gas prices, because you know what?¬† Last year at this time, I didn’t have the van I have now.¬† I didn’t have gas prices to complain about.¬† I am much happier with my vehicle than without it.¬† I am THANKFUL for all I have.¬†

I am thankful for life.¬† Without it, we wouldn’t even be able to complain.¬† Imagine that all my fellow Scrooge and Grinch friends?¬† No complaining?¬† If that were the case, you may actually have to smile and be happy!¬† SCARY!

Please, try to be happier each day.¬† Positivity is contagious.¬† Unfortunately, so is negativity.¬† It is really hard to push through the day only hearing the bad.¬† Just a little effort will go a long way!¬†¬† ūüėČ



Debbie Downer Come Down From Your Pedestal.

Debbie Downer sits up high on her pedestal.  She can see above everyone.  She can see every mistake you make.  Anything you do is a mistake in her eyes.  Anything you dream is wrong.  Anything you hope for will never happen.  She knows everything, she does everything better than you can do.  She knows you will never go anywhere.  

She knows she is so much better than you.

If you have a child out-of-wedlock, you are automatically a loser.¬† If you didn’t go to college, you’re even more of a loser.¬† If you work beside her, you don’t do half as much work as she does.¬† If you are her neighbor, your life is dysfunctional.¬† If you are her friend, her opinions are the only¬†ones that matters.¬† If you are her children, if you don’t do things her way, you will go nowhere in life.¬†

Wait, there’s more.

If you give up a child for adoption, you are a loser with no values.¬† If you are adopted, you aren’t a “real” member of your family.¬† If you file bankruptcy, you are cheap and could have paid your bills. If you collect from the State, you are a moron with no real ailment.¬† If you have State Insurance, it’s unfair that she has to pay for your bills.¬† If you’re wealthy, you probably had everything handed to you.¬† If your marriage fails, you have no class.¬† If you don’t bring in a lot of money, you must be on welfare. ¬†Another loser.

Debbie Downer can make you feel like you are only an inch tall.¬† She talks and talks and talks until your heart starts to hurt.¬† You see, Debbie Downer does not care who she hurts with her words.¬† She doesn’t think before she speaks.¬† She has such a narrow mind, any idea that you throw out there is intercepted by her negative thoughts.¬† She cannot open her mind.¬† By not having an open mind, Debbie Downer is a very miserable person.

I feel sorry for her.

Debbie Downer could never have a heart filled with love.  She could never wish somebody luck without thinking something negative right in her next breath.  She really needs to realize that everyone around her does not look up to Debbie Downer. 

They look away from her.

It’s hard to talk to somebody who only believes in their opinions.¬†

 Why would your children come to you and talk about great news if you are only going to point out the bad?  They just want to be loved.

People who want their children to have a better life give them up for adoption.¬† That’s love.

People who are adopted grow up with their family.¬† That’s it.¬† Just their family.¬† Not their real or fake family.¬† Family is love.

Friends who may have job opportunities don’t want somebody to tell them all the reasons they won’t be hired.¬† They want to know all the qualities you love about them.¬† They want to know why they WILL be hired.¬†

Debbie Downer, please come back down from that pedestal.¬† Come back to reality.¬† Maybe after you accept us all for who we are, even if you don’t believe in our thoughts and opinions, maybe you will find some more positivity and love in your heart.

Who wouldn’t want to feel more love?¬† The only thing negativity does is bring you down and it brings down everybody around you.

Debbie Downer, love and be loved back.¬† You’ll love, love.¬† I promise.




I’m Not Overweight, I’m Undertall.

Senior picture. Ahh, remember when...

Dieting.¬† Gag, blah, ugh, grr, argh.¬† That basically describes how I feel about it.¬† It is the most¬† difficult thing I do to myself.¬†¬† Some people are blessed with the ability to not even have to worry about it.¬†¬†I on the other hand am not.¬† I embrace my curves, but when I start finding curves in all the wrong places, it’s time straighten them back out.

I used to be¬†so tiny.¬† That was before¬†my first kiddo.¬†¬†¬†I did the whole “I can eat everything, I’m pregnant!”¬† Yeah, I lied to myself.¬† I doubled my size.¬† I worked out and somebody (no names) bought me NutriSystem for my birthday.¬† I did ok on it, but never got down to my size 4-5 again.¬†

After I had my son, I was stressed out due to a long divorce.¬† I was really sick with him also.¬† The hospital gave me penicillin (I’m allergic) and I lost way too much blood for my own good.¬† I dropped a ton of weight.¬† So, technically I lost all my babyweight, but it really wasn’t the healthy way.¬† I didn’t like the way I looked at all.¬† I was pale, too thin, just not right.¬† I had to get myself at a healthy weight¬†again, but we (mostly I) decided I wanted another baby.¬†

My third baby came along and so did the birth of my love handles.¬† I looked fine while pregnant, but after giving birth I gained my baby weight (I know, that doesn’t make sense, but it totally happened.)¬† Now, I struggle.¬†

If I would have been born another 3 or 4 inches taller, I would be the perfect weight.¬† I’d be a hot momma.¬† But, I am vertically challenged.¬† Like my Dad told me, “I’m not overweight, I’m undertall!”¬† Totally true.

Vanity isn’t the most important thing to me.¬† Of course I want to look nice, but I also don’t want to be stickly.¬† I want to be healthy for my children, my Fiance and myself.¬† We forget about all of that greasy food clogging our veins.¬† It starts building up early in life.¬† I can’t stand the dirty dishes in my sink having food stuck to them.¬† The last thing I want is for something disgusting to clog my arteries.¬† So, I am determined to get in shape.¬† It may take me a few ¬†months.¬† It’ll likely take me a year, but I will do this.¬†

I can do this. 

I do just have to ask myself why I am choosing to do this before Thanksgiving.¬† Terrible timing.¬† But, better now than when I am in the dressing room, under fluorescent lighting, trying on bathing suits next summer.¬†¬†There’s some more motivation to get it done now. ūüėČ



Can You Name 5 Things You Like About Yourself?

I am surrounded by some lovely ladies daily.¬† When looking though any photograph of them, they are critiquing themselves like a judge would do to a Miss America contestant.¬† From, “My face looks fat,”¬† to “My hair is terrible,” I lost track of all the insults they were saying about themselves.¬† When I asked if they could name 5 things they DID like about themselves, they could not do it.¬† They also have a hard time finding good things to say about other “average” people around them.¬† Constantly criticizing¬†weight gain and appearance, they forget that this is real life and we are all human.¬† None of us are perfect, yet all of us have great qualities.¬† Why was that so hard to understand?

I was wondering if it had anything to do with the way Hollywood has taken over society?¬† I have always compared myself to other people, based on the fact that anything over a size 10 is considered “fat” in America.¬† In Hollywood, anything over a 2 is considered fat.¬† The average American woman is a size 14, but the ideal size an average American woman wants to be is an 8.¬† We have painted a picture of the way we want women to look, so now majority of women look at themselves¬†with such disgust.¬† So much disgust, they cannot see the good.¬†

Something has got to give.

Beauty is so, so much more than appearance.¬† I know it’s hard to accept this because the world has become obsessed with being skinny and looking flawless, but it really is so much more.¬† Beauty can be a curvy, size 16 woman with a heart of gold and a contagious laugh.¬† It can be an average sized red-head, with green eyes and a personality that could befriend anybody.¬† It can be a veiled woman who keeps covered for her religion, mysterious with bright ideas unable to captivate the world just yet.¬†

Beauty can be anything you want it to be.  Of course the tall, skinny, glamorous types are beautiful.  But, beauty is only skin deep.  When you are older, the beauty portion of life will fade.  People are going to want to see your personality, see inside your soul.  Nobody will care about your weight, height, whether or not you were always up to par with fashion.  They are going to care about your heart and how much love you have for everybody else. 

If you can find those features now, that’s just another piece of beauty to add to your awesomeness.

So, I say again, can you name 5 things you like about yourself?¬† Nothing like, “I am a good mom or wife,” like I tend to say.¬† Dig down deep.¬† Find 5 things that you genuinely¬†like about yourself.¬† Not all cosmetic, but inner beauty as well.¬† After you do that, go back and look through your photos.¬† Instead of picking apart that person in the picture and judging every flaw you can find, look at the good.

You may be pleasantly surprised to¬†learn, you aren’t that bad after all. ūüėČ