My Happy New Year

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I’m a no resolution kind of girl.  I don’t normally like to be caught up in the hoopla of the New Year.  Personally, I have never even been a big fan of New Year’s Eve.  I never understood the big deal.  You can start over any time during the year, why make a big deal on 1/1?

This year, I feel different.  I don’t really know why, I just want to make a resolution.  I don’t want to start it off on a negative foot by already complaining about the resolution fads.  I want to do 2016 right.  By doing 2016 right, I still mean in my living room, with my kids, in my pj’s.  That part of it will never be wrong.

Resolutions though, here are my thoughts:

1.)  I will no longer focus on any person in my life that does not make the same effort for me as I do for them.   I just don’t want to care about it anymore.  Because in reality, I have everyone I need.  My kids, my husband.  A few friends, some family.   And if there is anybody that I have walked away from, it’s for a reason.  I never wake up in the morning and decide to walk away from people that have always been in my life.  Things build up.  When I finally have enough, I have enough.   I don’t.  NO.  I won’t feel bad about it anymore.  Even if they try and reverse it all back on me.  In my heart, I know the truth.  I don’t need to yell it to the world.  I just know and you know what?  I’m at peace with it all.

2.)  Write.  Write, write, write!  I have lost my ability to focus on my dreams.  If I don’t dive in now, when will I?  Do I want to become someone that sits at a desk for the rest of her life, wishing she could go back in time and try again?  Nope.  I really don’t.  I have dreams.  I have goals.  I’m going for them.

3.)  Organize.  I’m done procrastinating, it’s time to finish painting the rooms in the house.  It’s time to finish the basement.  I don’t need old clothes.  I’ve got this, sleeves are up and I’m diving in.

4.)  Love with all my heart.  There will be people that can’t accept love.  They aren’t happy with themselves, so they will push you away.  I’m going to keep pushing back because I have been that person.  Even if the world is bitter, I’m still going to shine through with love.

5.)  Exercise.  The most cliché of them all, right?!  Honestly though, I feel so much better with exercise.  But, I’m not focused on weight.  I feel that all too often there is an unhealthy obsession with needing to be thin.  People become so fixated on themselves, that’s all they begin to see in others.  It eats at you, it makes you miserable.  Find the balance.  Exercise, but don’t obsess.  Be healthy.

6.)  Teach.  I’m going to teach my children everything I can next year.  Whether it be simple or complex, they will always have my most undivided attention.  Even when they are older, I vow to make sure they know that they are always to come first in my life, before anyone or anything else.  They are always going to know how loved they are.

And finally, 7.)  Live.  That one is self-explanatory.  However, we get so caught up with the hustle and bustle of the day to day life, we forget to live.  I’m done trying to get to Friday on Monday.  I’m making the most out of every minute.  That’s why it’s so important to love your work life as much as you  love the life on the outside.

If you lost that spark, 2016 sounds like a good time to find it.

Happy New Year.

xoxo,

Stacy

 

 

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Christmas Birthdays Are A Rip Off

I love this season.  Love the Christmas music, the shopping, the lights, I just love everything about this holiday.

There is one thing I hate about it though:

My birthday.

Nobody wants to go out on Christmas Eve or the day after Christmas to celebrate a birthday.  Everybody is ALWAYS busy.  And if they are not busy, I get re-gifted gifts, gifts wrapped in Christmas paper and/or a gift that they saved from Christmas.

It’s a rip off.

I’m older now, so it doesn’t bother me as much anymore.  I don’t even want a gift, but it would be nice to be able to go out and celebrate it once in a while.

As I look back, I must have gotten totally ripped off as a kid.  I bet I would have gotten double the presents had my birthday fallen in the summer months.  My Mom & Dad  did a great job with my birthday though.   They always managed to get my close friends there.  They never wrapped presents from them in wrapping paper, and I really don’t think they gave me a left over Christmas present.  They did good.

But, still Christmas Birthdays are a rip off.

I haven’t even mentioned the fact that you just blink and the whole season is gone.  Christmas flies by and my birthday goes with it!  Most others can look forward to a fun party in a different month, but nope, not me.

Until now.

I’ve decided I am changing my birthday.  That’s right folks, I am now going to celebrate my HALF birthday in the summer time!  No Christmas paper will be there on a hot day, that I can guarantee!

I’ve got it all figured out!

Unless, of course , somebody decides that my birthday theme should be Christmas in July.  😉

xoxo,

Stacy

The Little Things

I started planning my 4 year olds birthday party about a month or so ago. I had it in my head that he needed to have a “real” party. Real meaning I bake the big, fire engine cake, invite all of our family, play Pin-the-Tail on the Donkey, Make little fireman souvenirs etc, etc, etc. I had the perfect invitation all picked out, all I had to do was find the time to send them out.

Well, life got in the way. The invites turned into Facebook & E-mail E-Vites. No perfect little invitations to put in the mail.

I was so bummed.

My 4 year old’s perfect birthday party was starting to turn not so perfect. Several people didn’t RSVP. My little guy was surely going to be heartbroken. I thought I had let him down. But, then the day came.

We arrived at his Grammy’s house. He was already so excited. We blew up a few balloons. I set up his fire truck cake. I made it with the boxed stuff, not even by scratch. Surely, this will be bad. I put a few of his gifts in gift bags. Between my new job and all the hustling around, I didn’t have time to grab wrapping paper. Poor kid.

Then I heard uncontrollable laughter. It was my 4-year-old. He was so happy and excited, he just couldn’t stop laughing!

I took a step back and looked around. No, this wasn’t the picture perfect party that I pinned on Pinterest. But, it was still pretty darn cool. No, not all of our family members could RSVP or attend, but he was so happy with those who did. He took the toys out of the gift bags so fast. He didn’t even notice they weren’t totally wrapped.

He was just so darn happy!

That was when I realized, all of the picture perfect stuff I was worried about was about me. It was about my own pride. I was upset that not everyone could RSVP or join us. I was let down when I ran out of time to do the invitations, wrapping and made by scratch cake.

He didn’t care about that stuff at all. In fact, he didn’t even notice.

We all get so wrapped up in seeing what other Moms and Dads do for their kids, we forget about simplicity. Just letting him know how much he is loved by all of those around him every day means the world to him. He was thrilled with what I did for him, not for what I didn’t do.

It’s the little things that matter to kids. You don’t have to have a billboard on the side of the road to say, “Happy Birthday.” A little silly singing greeting card does the trick. Words and hugs do the trick. Being there every day does the trick. Yeah, all kids remember those great parties. But, they also notice the occasional trips to the park, brining them with you to the voting booth, letting them help you wash their car or their pet, bedtime stories and singing on the way to school each morning.

And even though it wasn’t baked by scratch, they remember helping you bake that fireman cake. And all the other things they help you make in the kitchen.

It’s the little things.

xoxo,

Stacy

No New Year’s Resolution For Me

I love the idea of a fresh start each and every year.  The ball drops down and we take in the thoughts of a brand New Year.  Like most, I always have my New Year’s resolutions:  Lose weight, go to the gym, be positive 24/7, etc.  But, to be perfectly honest with you all (and with myself), the resolution lasts about a month. 

Or a week.

I decided to try a new approach for 2012.  I’m not going to force myself to the gym, but I am going to do things that I enjoy doing.  I’m going to walk more, I am going to make healthy choices and I am going to do it without putting pressure on myself.  I want to be more positive, I want to let other people’s words roll if they are negative.  Instead of waiting until the New Year, I am starting to do this now.  I mean, why not?

If I fall off track a day, it will be ok.  I’ll know where to pick the pieces back up.  I won’t wait for another year to start over.  I’ll just start fresh tomorrow. 

Why wait for a New Year to be the person that you want to be?

Happy New Year!

xoxo,

Stacy

Where Can I Buy Some Christmas Elves?

So much to do! So little time left! I finished all of my shopping in November. Well, most of my shopping. Now, it’s time to wrap.

And wrap…

And wrap…

But, when?

I work 40 hours a week, like most people. I pick up the kids, fix dinner, and give baths. We also have basketball, dance, games and school functions. When they go to bed, I am close to being ready for bed.

So, where can I find me some Christmas Elves?

Wouldn’t that be great?!

They could magically wrap and tag everything. Maybe they could even do some last minute shopping for me?

They could bake all kinds of goodies and have them all boxed and jarred for Christmas.

All of this would be done while I work and do household chores. The tree would get decorated and Christmas music would play as we opened the door each night.

Ok. Enough day dreaming.

Santa will never give out a Christmas elf, so time to deal with it.

If anybody runs into me the week before Christmas, you don’t have to inform me on how I look. My eyes will be bloodshot with a hint of dark circles.
I’ll probably snap if you ask if I slept the night before. Carpal-tunnel will set in from the tape, scissors and wrap motion. Paper cuts will take over my hands. Hair won’t be done, and clothes probably won’t match.

But, all of the 30 people I wrap for will get neat, pretty package to open on Christmas day. And it will all be over in 39 seconds.

But, it will all get done. And, I may even try to smile in the process. Pft, who needs an elf? Not a super parent!

If you see me passed out on the couch on Christmas Day, let me sleep. Maybe Santa can bring me a “Do Not Disturb” sign to hang on me somewhere! Or a blanket with those words! That’d be perfect!

Maybe I don’t need an elf after all. Just a 5-hour energy drink and a nap on Christmas Day. And maybe one the next few days after. 😉

Xoxo,

Stacy

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A Holiday Grudge – Forgive or Forget?

It’s the season for being cheery.  Lights, snowmen, gifts, parties, and families, it’s a time when everyone gets together to celebrate the season. 

It’s also time to hide from unwanted confrontations.

What should you do if you haven’t spoken to a family member in a very long time?  What if they have done something to hurt you over the last year?  Do you let it go and arrive with a fake holiday smile, or do you pass the gathering by, maybe even breaking tradition?

Personally, I have a really hard time being fake.  Actually, I cannot be fake.  For me, I would most likely be sitting in a corner somewhere, watching the children open their gifts.  I would be avoiding any person that has set me off in the last year.  I am not one to hold grudges, I can forgive and forget very quickly.  Only when many things build up and build up do I start to pull away.

It takes a lot to make me angry.  Once I get to that point though, it is very hard for me to let things go.  I just can’t be fake.

I don’t want to break tradition, but I don’t want to go some place and be uncomfortable.  I don’t want to disappoint my children, but I also don’t want them to witness any bickering, God forbid that would even occur.  I really hate confrontation.

So, this is my Christmas dilemma.  Do I burn the bridge or do I mend it? 

xoxo,

Stacy

“Merry Christmas Fatty!” (Learn What Not to Say Before Going Out In Public).

 

When I was 14 years old I had an eating disorder.  Somebody had called me fat and I decided I needed to be super skinny like some of my friends.  I got down to less than 100 lbs.  Let me tell you why I will never do this to myself again.  And let me tell you why you shouldn’t either.

I was born with curves.  I have had a big booty since I was a child.  It’s me.  It’s who I am.  It must be genetic.  For a long time I hated my curves.  I thought skinny was the way everybody should look.  Society taught me that skinny was beautiful.  Guys only liked the skinny girls.  You couldn’t be beautiful unless you were a size 2, etc.  It was so unhealthy to have felt these things.  But, as a young adult, you can’t help it. 

As a grown woman, I think society can kiss my voluptuous arse.

Today, one of our outspoken, obnoxious clients said to me, “You can’t be the same girl, my God you have gotten FAT!”  A) Who says this?  B) This is why you are old and still single, and C) Learn the Golden Rule:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

That little rule is the reason I never speak to this client.  My Mother taught me young and for that I am thankful.  She also taught me to love myself no matter what I look like.  I didn’t a long time ago, but I do now.  I’m teaching my children to do the same.

I cried for a bit after he left.  It was already a bad day, but when somebody calls you the “F” word, it hurts.  I know it’s said behind my back, but when you hear it, it hurts.  Words hurt.  Sticks and stones can break my bones, but I think words can hurt a lot worse. 

I was sad, but I will not let him get to me.  I will never starve myself again, instead, I embrace myself.  Yes, I have gained two sizes since my last child.  But, I had a child.  I have 3 beautiful children.  If I could choose to go back in time, keep my skinny girl figure and never have children, I wouldn’t.  I couldn’t.  They are my world and they are worth every lump, bump, flesh, scar and chub on my body.

Curvy, fat, thick, wide, call me what you want.  I love myself.  I know who I am on the inside.  I’m a loving, caring, devoted mother of 3 who is in love with my amazing Fiance & children who love ME for ME.  Not for what I gain or lose.  That’s all that matters. 

No matter what you go through, no matter whose negative words you hear, no matter how bad the bullies get, you choose to love yourself.  Words hurt, but you have the ability to control how you feel.  Own who you are.  Gay, straight, skinny, fat, glasses, freckles, etc.  Do not let a bully control your life.  It gets better.  You learn from past mistakes.  Some day the bully may grow up.  Then again, they may never grow up (like the 70 year old man that said that to me today).  But, you have the ability to own who you are and make everyone else in the world see how important and incredibly amazing you are. 

No matter what flaws they find in you, own them all.  Own it.  Love it.  Embrace it.  And once you do that, everyone will desire it.

xoxo,

Stacy

 

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