“Merry Christmas Fatty!” (Learn What Not to Say Before Going Out In Public).

 

When I was 14 years old I had an eating disorder.  Somebody had called me fat and I decided I needed to be super skinny like some of my friends.  I got down to less than 100 lbs.  Let me tell you why I will never do this to myself again.  And let me tell you why you shouldn’t either.

I was born with curves.  I have had a big booty since I was a child.  It’s me.  It’s who I am.  It must be genetic.  For a long time I hated my curves.  I thought skinny was the way everybody should look.  Society taught me that skinny was beautiful.  Guys only liked the skinny girls.  You couldn’t be beautiful unless you were a size 2, etc.  It was so unhealthy to have felt these things.  But, as a young adult, you can’t help it. 

As a grown woman, I think society can kiss my voluptuous arse.

Today, one of our outspoken, obnoxious clients said to me, “You can’t be the same girl, my God you have gotten FAT!”  A) Who says this?  B) This is why you are old and still single, and C) Learn the Golden Rule:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

That little rule is the reason I never speak to this client.  My Mother taught me young and for that I am thankful.  She also taught me to love myself no matter what I look like.  I didn’t a long time ago, but I do now.  I’m teaching my children to do the same.

I cried for a bit after he left.  It was already a bad day, but when somebody calls you the “F” word, it hurts.  I know it’s said behind my back, but when you hear it, it hurts.  Words hurt.  Sticks and stones can break my bones, but I think words can hurt a lot worse. 

I was sad, but I will not let him get to me.  I will never starve myself again, instead, I embrace myself.  Yes, I have gained two sizes since my last child.  But, I had a child.  I have 3 beautiful children.  If I could choose to go back in time, keep my skinny girl figure and never have children, I wouldn’t.  I couldn’t.  They are my world and they are worth every lump, bump, flesh, scar and chub on my body.

Curvy, fat, thick, wide, call me what you want.  I love myself.  I know who I am on the inside.  I’m a loving, caring, devoted mother of 3 who is in love with my amazing Fiance & children who love ME for ME.  Not for what I gain or lose.  That’s all that matters. 

No matter what you go through, no matter whose negative words you hear, no matter how bad the bullies get, you choose to love yourself.  Words hurt, but you have the ability to control how you feel.  Own who you are.  Gay, straight, skinny, fat, glasses, freckles, etc.  Do not let a bully control your life.  It gets better.  You learn from past mistakes.  Some day the bully may grow up.  Then again, they may never grow up (like the 70 year old man that said that to me today).  But, you have the ability to own who you are and make everyone else in the world see how important and incredibly amazing you are. 

No matter what flaws they find in you, own them all.  Own it.  Love it.  Embrace it.  And once you do that, everyone will desire it.

xoxo,

Stacy

 

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Terrible Teens – Who’s To Blame?

Thankfully, my little Trick-or-Treaters didn't understand the terrible words they heard last night.

Last night was Halloween.  After a nice night of Trick-or-Treating with my Fiance and our 3 children, we thought it would be fun to have Happy Meals at our local McDonald’s.  We chose a seat, got ready to enjoy our meal and then it started.   Some of the worse language I have ever heard.   Seated behind us, were about 15+ teenagers.   I couldn’t believe my ears.  I was angry, mortified and frustrated.

The “F” words and the word “whore” were the vocabulary favorites for this group.  There were a few teen girls that came in, all dolled up in shorts showing most of their backside.  Why would you let your children wear things like this?  Anyway, some of the boys were calling them whores and harassing them.   They started crowding around our table.  After hurrying the kids, it was time to leave.

This was unbelievable.

Why do kids feel it is ok to talk like this in public?  Doesn’t anybody teach them right from wrong?  My kids weren’t the only ones in the restaurant either.  All of them were stuck listening to this cussing and disrespect.  My 7, 3, and 2-year-old should not hear the word “whore.”  Where are the parents?  Do they even care what their children are like in public?  Shouldn’t they learn at a young age what respect is?

When I was growing up, my mother drilled it into my head that she has eyes everywhere.  She knew a lot of people and if I ever got out of line then she would find out and I would be in a crazy mess of trouble.  I just wonder if parents still have control of their children?  Or do the children control them?

I hope and pray my children grow up learning to be respectful.  Not only of others, but I hope they have some respect for themselves.  I pray they know at a young age, you don’t have to bare a ton of skin to be noticed.  I hope and pray that my boys don’t cuss and harass girls of their own age.

I hope and pray those kids in McDonald’s last night learn about respect very, very soon.  

I can now understand why every older person I encountered as a teenager didn’t like any of us.  If kids like that set the example for all teens nationwide, I don’t like them very much either.

xoxo,

Stacy