An Introvert with a Semi-Colon Tattoo.

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My husband and my semi-colon tattoos. He’s my rock and my reason.

I couldn’t breathe.  I couldn’t move.  I couldn’t talk to ask for help.  All I could feel was the sensation that my air supply had been cut off.  I didn’t know what was happening.  I thought this was the end.

I was only 13.

I couldn’t eat in the lunchroom, I hid in the bathroom until the bell rang.  How on earth could I walk up to a table and ask if I could sit with any of these kids?  Why would they want to sit with me?

20 years later.

When I go to the store, I’m the one on a mission just trying not to make eye contact.  It’s not that I don’t want to be courteous, it’s just that I don’t feel good enough compared to anybody else.  Crowds make me incredibly nervous as well.

When I take my children to school or sports functions.  I don’t make small talk with the coaches or other parents.  I don’t know how to start the conversation.  I feel silly or embarrassed if I even try to fit in.  I’ll just sit back and observe until I get to know you better.  Once I do, we’ll be chatting at the field all the time.

If we are friends, you won’t get phone calls very often from me.  It’s not that I don’t love you.  It’s just that I hate the phone and would rather be at the dentist for two hours.  I’ll text you 24/7 though.  I write much better than I speak.

If I say no to plans, please don’t take it personally.  People drain me.  Absolutely drain me.  The only ones that I can be around all day every day are my kids and husband.  It doesn’t mean I don’t want to be friends or that I don’t want to hang out, because I do.  I don’t like that I am like this.  But, I am.  And if you have been my friend for years, you know this about me.  And I appreciate the fact that you stand by me more than you’ll ever know.  Please don’t stop trying to make plans with me.

I want to be social.  I want tons and tons of friends.  I just have a hard time starting the conversations.  It’s rare for me to find friends that get me.  But, when they do, we are friends for life.  I’ll be there for them for always.

My children and husband are my absolute world.  I may be anxious, I may be an introvert, but you will see a whole other side of me if you mess with any of them.  They make me dealing with all of this so easy.  I owe them the universe.

In large crowds, I will be looking for the nearest animal to pet.  I want to socialize and be like the rest of you, but on the inside I’m trying not to go into panic mode.  Any crowd I go into, I feel like I don’t belong.  I never feel good enough.  The only time I find enough confidence to deal with the world is when it’s for my children or for work.

At work I try to hide being an introvert.  I try to hide my anxiety.  You have to be a faux extrovert to work in customer service.   I’ve learned to be pretty good at it too.  Most people are surprised when they hear that I am an introvert.  I take pride in that fact. I work very, very hard at my job.  When people complain or gossip about something I did, I probably take it more to heart than anyone else in the building.  I do that because of how much I care about what I do.  I’m really, really hard on myself.

You may call me weird, shy, anti-social, rude, selfish, odd, mad, depressed, a loner, people hater, hermit, nerd (ok that one may be true), but I promise you, I’m not really any of those things.  I’m a regular person who is just has a little more anxiety than the person next door.  I’m a little bit awkward because small talk is not my thing.  I’d rather be at home reading on a rainy Saturday with my family than at the mall or out at a bar.  But, I promise you that if you ever need somebody, it doesn’t matter the time of night, I’ll be there.  I’ll listen intently and will remember everything you say, judgment free.

So, if I am ever out and about and you feel the same way too, don’t be afraid to ask me about my semi-colon tattoo.

xoxo,

Stacy

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Stay Positive

Stay Positive

Words to remember! Courtesy of Pinterest.   Follow me there, my boards are under momand3kiddos.  🙂 Happy Monday!

xoxo,

Stacy

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Defeating the Bullies

bully n. , pl. , -lies . A person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people.

I’ve been staring at the computer screen off and on for about an hour. I’m trying to find the words to describe what it feels like to be bullied, but I am having a hard time. You may laugh when I speak about being bullied since I am almost 30 years old. It happens though. Bullies come in all shapes, sizes, and ages. People that are all shapes, sizes and ages are bullied every day. It’s a fact of life, but something can be done to stop it.

If you are the bully, enough is enough! By throwing out hurtful words, you are killing somebody on the inside. I don’t know if it makes you feel powerful or smart? Maybe you feel better than everybody else and feel even better when you use your words as a weapon. Whatever the reason is, you need to stop. If you feel superior to anybody around you, that’s your first clue that you are not. Everybody has a flaw, but everybody has a strength too. If you take the time to prey on another person’s weakness, you are the one who is in fact the weak link in the puzzle.

I hear bullies every day. They talk and talk and talk about how terribly a friend or family member is living their life. They talk about how “stupid” these people are. They talk about how great they do things in their own life and nobody else around has a clue. All that stress and negative energy is actually tearing them apart. Of course, if you are the one being bullied, you are being torn apart too. But, turn that around into something good. They are giving you a gift.

Confused? Let me explain.

So, you are being bullied. Whether they are picking on your weight, your height, the way you do your job, whether or not you cook, pushing you around or whatever the reason, you can turn that energy into something great. They are making you so incredibly strong. You are handling more than the average person can handle. You are growing as a person. You are growing because you are going through something and you are overcoming it. After you have been bullied, are you going to want to run out and start belittling your co-worker? More than likely not. They are giving you a gift because you now know how it feels to be hurt. In turn, you will not hurt another person. You will go above and beyond trying to make others feel at home. It doesn’t matter where you are, you have learned what respect is. You have learned that you do not have to tolerate another person who does not respect you. And, you will show every person that enters your life what being respectful is all about.

So, this bully that has been belittling and over-powering you, they are thinking that they are on top of the world. Guess what? They are not. They never will be. If it takes mean words to make them feel tough and powerful, they are the ones who are half an inch tall. Look at them in a different light. Don’t fear them for their strong words. Picture the coward that they actually are. Because if they were actually somebody who’s opinions mattered, they would be using all their negative energy towards random acts of kindness. They would be more like the person you are now becoming, thanks to them and all the strength that those terrible words have given you.

You are important. You matter to the world. You can make a positive impact on this world. Find a way, make a path and charge on through. The only thing this bully will fear, is the new and powerful YOU.

xoxo,

Stacy

You Are Amazing

Dear Reader,

You are amazing. 

Yes, you. 

The one on the other side of this screen peaking in.  You’re amazing in many ways. 

How do I know? 

I just do.  

I catch myself at times comparing my talents to others.  I compare anything from writing, to my job, to parenting, to being a wife, etc.  Sometimes, I put myself on a level that is so far beneath my peers, it hurts my neck to look up at them.  I’m not sure why I do this, but it’s something I’ve always done.  Lately, I have been realizing more and more that I don’t have to do this.  I can be just as good as the next person.  Degree, no degree, stay at home mom or working, I’m not beneath anybody.  I’m me, I have talent and some of those talents are quite amazing.

That’s how I know you (YES, YOU!) are amazing too.  When everyone takes the hand of the person next to them and shows them just how wonderful they are, the world will be a better place.  When we can look at the person across from us and only look at them on a complete and total level, not up, not down, the world will be a better place. 

You can do a great job at that office that you’ve been too afraid to apply to. 

You can do a great job at your daughter’s next PTA meeting. 

You can write a wonderful blog and help thousands of people find a smile.

Yes, you.  You can do anything that you want to do.  There’s no mountain too tall for somebody like you.

For somebody as amazing as you.

xoxo,

Stacy

Don’t Lose Your Smile :)

 

 

 

I’m surrounded by some amazing people.  Friends, family, online friends, some co-workers.  One thing they all have in common lately is:

They have all lost their smile.

Maybe it’s the winter blues going around.  Maybe it’s the holiday season being packed away for another year.  Maybe it’s the cold, the snow, the urge to have a nice summer tan.  It could be many different reasons, but it’s time to start flashing that smile again.

I am guilty of it too.  Once in a while, I find myself having a “woe is me” day.  Luckily, I snap out of it pretty quickly.  We all need to look around and find things that make us happy.  Maybe the diamond-like shine of the snow on the trees.  Maybe the hot cup of coffee we take for granted every morning.  Maybe the miracles we see every time we look at our children. 

Just smile.

We have so much all around us to smile about.  Like it’s sung in a Train song, we’re “on a spinning ball in the middle of space!”  How cool is that!? 

If you feel like you don’t have much to smile about, find something!  Go grab the brightest shade of nail polish.  Pick up a sports magazine.  Do a little craft that you find on www.pinterest.com (my new favorite site).  Find things to smile about!

We can all be negative and miserable.  It’s so easy.  All we have to do is flip on the news.   Don’t be that person that has to broadcast it.  It’s easy to find fault in people and pick them apart, but the more you concentrate on the negative, the less you are going to be happy.

Find the good and shine! 

Look to the sun, feel the warmth, look at the beautiful trees, look at your children, listen to them laugh, blast your favorite CD, do a craft, go snowmobiling, take some photos, play a video game, exercise, etc, etc, etc!

Show that beautiful smile to the world!  Like a yawn, they are contagious! 😉

xoxo,

Stacy

The Organizing Domino Effect

Wait.. Which way was I going again?

I am not one for resolutions to start off a new year, but I will say this:  I need to get organized and I need to get organized bad!

I have a problem though.  I will start off doing great, organizing all my kiddos photos and then I will see a toy that’s not where it should be.  So, I will return the toy to the correct child’s room.  Oh o, dirty laundry still on the floor.  I’ll pick up the laundry, check everyone else’s rooms for laundry and start a load to be washed.  Oh shoot, silly cat needs to be fed.  I feed the cat and notice somebody didn’t do their chore of cleaning the little guys cat box today.  I will do that and then bag up trash.  Oh my goodness, look at those dishes!  I’ll let some soak, get a few done.  “Momma, I’m hungry!”  Ok, I’ll get the kiddos a snack and then will sit on the couch for a minute.

Wait, what was I doing to begin with?

No matter how hard I try to concentrate on just doing one thing, I get so easily distracted.  I start off so strong with one project and then start another and another and another.  Every time I try, I cannot get it all done!

It’s like an organizing domino effect!

Not to mention, the only time I really have to do these things is from about 6pm after work until bedtime.  The weekends are somewhat useful, but who wants to clean on a day off?  I would rather be building a snow man with the kids!  And I have to go to basketball games, dance, etc.

Momma needs to concentrate.  And find a way to add another 48 hours to the week.  In my dreams I have a magic wand.  Aren’t all dreams supposed to come true?

Any pointers to cure my attention span would be fabulous.  As for now, I will continue to run around in circles, organizing 1/2 of a project at a time.  😉 

xoxo,

Stacy

“Merry Christmas Fatty!” (Learn What Not to Say Before Going Out In Public).

 

When I was 14 years old I had an eating disorder.  Somebody had called me fat and I decided I needed to be super skinny like some of my friends.  I got down to less than 100 lbs.  Let me tell you why I will never do this to myself again.  And let me tell you why you shouldn’t either.

I was born with curves.  I have had a big booty since I was a child.  It’s me.  It’s who I am.  It must be genetic.  For a long time I hated my curves.  I thought skinny was the way everybody should look.  Society taught me that skinny was beautiful.  Guys only liked the skinny girls.  You couldn’t be beautiful unless you were a size 2, etc.  It was so unhealthy to have felt these things.  But, as a young adult, you can’t help it. 

As a grown woman, I think society can kiss my voluptuous arse.

Today, one of our outspoken, obnoxious clients said to me, “You can’t be the same girl, my God you have gotten FAT!”  A) Who says this?  B) This is why you are old and still single, and C) Learn the Golden Rule:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

That little rule is the reason I never speak to this client.  My Mother taught me young and for that I am thankful.  She also taught me to love myself no matter what I look like.  I didn’t a long time ago, but I do now.  I’m teaching my children to do the same.

I cried for a bit after he left.  It was already a bad day, but when somebody calls you the “F” word, it hurts.  I know it’s said behind my back, but when you hear it, it hurts.  Words hurt.  Sticks and stones can break my bones, but I think words can hurt a lot worse. 

I was sad, but I will not let him get to me.  I will never starve myself again, instead, I embrace myself.  Yes, I have gained two sizes since my last child.  But, I had a child.  I have 3 beautiful children.  If I could choose to go back in time, keep my skinny girl figure and never have children, I wouldn’t.  I couldn’t.  They are my world and they are worth every lump, bump, flesh, scar and chub on my body.

Curvy, fat, thick, wide, call me what you want.  I love myself.  I know who I am on the inside.  I’m a loving, caring, devoted mother of 3 who is in love with my amazing Fiance & children who love ME for ME.  Not for what I gain or lose.  That’s all that matters. 

No matter what you go through, no matter whose negative words you hear, no matter how bad the bullies get, you choose to love yourself.  Words hurt, but you have the ability to control how you feel.  Own who you are.  Gay, straight, skinny, fat, glasses, freckles, etc.  Do not let a bully control your life.  It gets better.  You learn from past mistakes.  Some day the bully may grow up.  Then again, they may never grow up (like the 70 year old man that said that to me today).  But, you have the ability to own who you are and make everyone else in the world see how important and incredibly amazing you are. 

No matter what flaws they find in you, own them all.  Own it.  Love it.  Embrace it.  And once you do that, everyone will desire it.

xoxo,

Stacy

 

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