Kiddos Say The Silliest Things. :)

“How do you make a tissue dance?  Put a little boogie in it!”  7-year-old comedian.

“Look, a bubble sweater.  Look, a bubble hat.  Look, a bubble butt!”  Said while 3-year-old was in the tub.

Momma, I love your hair.  It’s so beautiful!  Can I have some candy now?”  3-year-old.

“Please stop poking your brother’s belly button!”  Said to 2-year-old who wouldn’t leave 3-year-old alone.

“Where did you get so smart!”  7-year-old to 3-year-old.

“At the baby store!”  3-year-olds answer.

“Momma, how do you change a baby rapper?  Put a little rhyma into the diapa!”  7-year old comedian again.

Chillax sissy!”  3-year-old to 7-year-old.

There’s only such thing as boyfriends, girlfriends and friends.”  7-year-old.

“And babyfriends!”  3-year-old.

Knock knock.  Who’s there?  Aha Aha who?  Yucky apple!”  2-year-old who doesn’t quite have the knock, knock joke down yet.

Mater,  you are not my friend anymore!”  3-year-old to his toy.

Christmas is Jesus’ birthday.  Do you know who Jesus is?”  To my 3-year-old.

“Yes.  He is a mister who loves cake!”  3-year-old’s answer.

Why daylight savings?  It’s like punishment for adults.”  Fiance.




Mommy, Are You Hiding Candy From Me!?

Halloween candy.  The kiddos work so hard to get their buckets full of all kinds of candy.  So, when what I am about to tell you happened, I felt incredibly guilty.

But, it was so worth it.

It was about 10pm, hubby-to-be and I were rummaging through all the candy buckets.  We were actually trying to remove all peanut butter, peanut, soy, tree nut infested candies.  We didn’t want our 2-year-old, who is allergic to EVERYTHING, to accidentally get ahold of one of those.  Rather than tossing them away, we decided not to waste any. 😉  He tossed me a package of peanut M&Ms.  It was late, so it was safe to indulge.  Or at least I thought it was.

I tore open the package.  All of a sudden, he appeared.


It was like he was a ghost in a movie.  He seriously just appeared out of nowhere!  He was JUST sleeping!

“Momma, do you have our candy?!”

All of a sudden, I was a child again.  I hid the candy under my blanket and quickly answered him.

“No!  I don’t have any candy!  You need to get back to bed!”

“Momma, I know I just heard candy.  I know I did.  Can I have the candy now?”

“Back to bed.  Candy after supper tomorrow night.”

“But, you and Daddy are having candy!”

“Back to bed!”

He went back to bed.  I went back to my candy.  I continued hiding it under the blanket, just in case another child came out to catch me in the act.  I had to eat it quickly and I had to be sneaky. 

The next morning on the way to school, I had thought my 3-year-old would have forgotten about this incident.  Sadly, he did not. 

“Momma, it is not nice to eat our trick-or-treat candy!  Momma, it’s just not nice!”

“I’m sorry Aiden.”

“Really Momma?  Really?!  You ate our candy!” 

Yup, for once my 7-year-old was paying attention to the conversation.  Although, I should have known her ears would be in tune when candy was involved. 

Next year, all the peanut candy gets taken to work with us.  At least then, we won’t have to hide to eat it. 😉



No Kids For The Night! Um, Now What?

It doesn’t happen often, but once in a great while my parents will keep ALL 3 of our kiddos for a night.  Usually we go away for the weekend, but this year it was different.  It all happened last-minute.  When everything was sorted out, we had a Saturday afternoon and night to ourselves.

We had no idea what to do.

It’s so easy with the kids home.  We can go home, play games, go to Chuck E Cheese, go apple picking, color, etc.  But, time for just us?  No diapers for a night?  We were actually lost. 

So, after about 20 minutes of, “I don’t know, what do you want to do?”  We ventured off to the city for dinner.   We went to a buffet and it was a beautiful thing.  We ate our food and it stayed hot.  We held hands, sat a table for 2 and took our time.

We missed the kids.  It was too peaceful!

We were right next to the mall, so hand in hand, we went mall walking.  We went into 2 stores.  That’s it!  Nothing interested us!  We walked out with nothing, but full bellies.  That only killed 30 minutes. 

Now what?

We went into a few more stores, ranted about rude people who don’t say thank you when you hold the door open for them and then headed back to town.  It was 6pm and we were contemplating going home and getting into our jammies, or even going to pick the kids up.

We decided to reach out to a few friends that we hadn’t seen in a while.  They were home!  Yippee!  Adult interaction! 

We were so excited!

Between the 4 of us, we couldnt’ think of anything to do.  So, we went to the grocery store, grabbed some pizza and headed back to their place for a few hours.  Just sitting there and gabbing with grown ups was so refreshing! 

Still though, we missed the kids!  The next morning, we were both so excited to have them back.  It’s amazing how much your life changes when you have children.  Nights out on the town mean something completely different now.  Life has meaning.  It’s a beautiful thing. 

Once in a while, my Fiance and I need a night for just us.  But, for the most part, I will take Candyland over Poker any day now.  I wouldn’t change it for the world. 



Raccoon Eyes And Broken High Heels – When Mommy Tries To Look Pretty.

If only I could wear baseball hats to work!

6am comes pretty fast in my home.  Especially after an interrupted nights sleep that goes a little something like:

“Mommy, can you tuck me in?”

“Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom.”

“Mommy, my cup is almost empty.  If I drink it there will be none left.  May I please have some more?”

I work a 40 hour a week job.  I honestly do try to look nice for it in the mornings.  It is mighty difficult though.  One child needs to get ready for school.  While I am trying to get her to brush her teeth, my 3-year-old is feeding the cat.  That consists of the entire bag of cat food missing the cat’s bowl.  While all of these things are going on, my 2-year-old is waking up with pop tarts stuck into his hair.

This is a normal morning.

I try to hurry up and take a shower.  My Fiance leaves for work before any of us are awake, so it’s just me vs the 3.  I take a 5 minute (if that) semi-warm shower.  I can’t take a hot shower like I would like to because my 2-year-old tends to stick his head into the tub, trying to reach for the toilet paper roll he managed to throw in from across the room. 

After I finish that, I reach for my clothes that I picked out the night before.  I usually set them on the bathroom floor.  On occasion, one of my pant legs will end up in the toilet, thanks to my baby boys trying to “help” me do laundry.  They get the whole wash with water thing, but haven’t gotten the washing machine concept yet.

I then make sure my oldest is on task with her getting ready for school routine. 

“Did you brush your teeth?”

She smiles.  Pieces of breakfast stuck in her gums.

“Go and brush them again.  And use your new toothbrush.   Your brother just through yours in the kitty box.”

Now, it’s time for me to apply make up.  I try the smokey eye look.   I watched a few tutorials and love how it looks.  Liner and shadow applied.  Mirror check and…

I look like a rabid raccoon.

I reach for a wash cloth that has not been splashed with toilet water.  Wash it off and just do my same old routine. 

If my Fiance could see me now, smokey eyes or not, this is not a sexy look.

I reach for my favorite heels and what do you know?  My 3-year-old boy broke them while wearing them around the house.

Ok, all is ok. 

Flip flops it is.  Again.  Pretty much until it snows.

Head count for the kids.  Everyone is ready.  Wash the ink pen off my 2 year olds face.  One more teeth check for my oldest.  Other child has put the soaking wet cat down after trying to give him a bath.  Now, he needs a new outfit. 

I change his clothes.  Allset to go.  Then, sniff, sniff.  Ok, who needs a new diaper? 

Everyone changed.  Out the door.  And then I remember I didn’t do my hair.  Low ponytail or bun for the win.

Being a mommy, not always so glamorous.  But, I wouldn’t change this loco life for the world.

After all, this isn’t Miss America.  It’s just the life of a typical working Mommy in America.



Mr & Mrs Know-It-All

You may know Mr & Mrs Know-It-All, in fact, I am sure you do.  They are related to Mr & Mrs Do-No-Wrong and distant cousins of Mr & Mrs Always-Right. 

Mr & Mrs Know-It-All know things before you tell them.  They know things before the news gets the scoop.  They even found out their info before the President had it on his desk! 

They know your income, your shoe size, your thoughts.  They know the weather for next month.  They even know the date of birth of your unborn child, that you haven’t even thought of trying for yet!  They just knew you were going to be trying soon and he had to be born on the day that they thought of!

If you tell them about a concert, they already knew.  If you tell them about a party, they already knew.  If you tell them about your new promotion, they already had a feeling about it and knew it was going to happen before you did!

Mr & Mrs Know-It-All are just that good.  They just really do know everything.  There is never any reason to fight with them, you won’t get anywhere.  If you try to let them know they are in fact a “know it all,” they will just deny it.   They probably knew you were going to fight with them about it anyway. 

That’s what Mrs. Told-You-So said anyway.




Road Rage – We Can’t Hear You Screaming Inside Your Car!

Silly thing happened this morning.  I was driving my daughter to school and there was a bus about a half mile down the road.  The bus was picking up children on the way, so traffic was stop and go.  Nobody could move out-of-the-way, it’s a normal school morning where patience is a great thing.

Well, not all of us had patience.

Here comes this lady, honking her horn, telling people to move so she can pull into a side street.  None of us had any place to go, we were all bumper to bumper!  She proceeded to flip anybody she could see off in the process!  Didn’t care who saw her do it.  Didn’t even care about the children waiting at the bus stop or about my daughter who could see what she was doing.  Luckily, she doesn’t know what that means.

“Momma, why is that lady so mad?”  She asked innocently.

“Some people are just in a hurry sweetheart.”  I said.

I get grumpy on occasion.  People who don’t use their directional usually set me off, but I don’t have a hissy fit about it.  There is nothing I can do to change the situation.  My mean old Mom mobile with pink license plates will not intimidate anybody. 

I, personally don’t understand the point of the honking or the yelling from behind the wheel.  We can’t hear you.  We don’t care what you are saying.  You are only raising your blood pressure and taking years off of your life, so why do it?!

Oh, and for all the tail-gaters of the world:  Following behind somebody, with only an inch or two between vehicles is not going to make the person in the front go any faster.  I will drive exactly the speed limit if you do this to me.   I know some people who will brake check you.  I don’t believe in this personally, but it happens and guess what:  The person who rear-ends the other car is the one at fault.

Not worth it!

So, my advice for the day is smile and nod.  Let somebody into the traffic line.  Don’t let your children or anybody else’s children see you commit road ragism. When somebody beeps and yells angrily at you, smile and wave.  If you see an angry driver,  be happy that person doesn’t work with you.  Or, even better, be happy you aren’t married to that person. 

And if you are married to “that” person, I am so sorry.  You are in my thoughts and prayers.  I really hope they don’t act like that when it comes to the television remote.



Not The Nose Picker’s Class!

My daughter is going to be entering the 2nd grade next Tuesday.  Her school had an open house today, so we went to meet her teacher and fellow classmates.  As we were going through all of the kids names on the desk, my daughter said,

 “OH NO!” 

“Honey, what’s wrong?”  I asked, slightly confused. 

“IT’S HIM!”  She said in a very quiet, but concerned tone. 

“It’s who?!”  I asked, just as quiet and concerned. 

Honestly, I was thinking maybe this child had hurt her feelings last year.  She had a few issues with some bullies, but I thought everything was taken care of.  It was the typical 1st grade teasing and she was over it pretty quickly.

“It’s…  It’s…  THE NOSE PICKER!”  she said, just as serious as if it were the President making a television-interupted announcement.

My daughter really has never been the type of kid to make fun of another child.  She is outgoing and fun, but she has a very caring heart for a 7-year-old.  I really don’t think she was saying this in a making fun of kind of way, but still, we had to talk.

“Lexi, it is not nice to label somebody a nickname.  That is called teasing and that could really hurt his feelings.”  I was trying to explain as best as I knew how.

“Momma, I’m not calling him a name.  He really does this!  He really just picks his nose allllllll day long!”  Again, she is saying this as serious as can be.  This was an intense discussion.

“Honey, you only call him by his name.  Do not talk to other kids about it.  Do not say it to him.  Just be nice and do not share a snack with him!  Got it?!”


“GOT IT?!”

“Ok.  He really does this though.” 

After learning I was just not going to get the last word, I decided to show her a picture from when she was little, little.  A picture of my little angel and I.  It was one of those self pictures, so as I was looking at the camera, I thought she was too.  When I looked at it, I saw this:

She quickly decided she will definitely not label or make fun of anybody anymore. 

 “Maybe he didn’t mean to do it.”  She said with a coy smile.

“That’s right honey.  Maybe he didn’t mean to?”



Previous Older Entries Next Newer Entries