Stay Positive

Stay Positive

Words to remember! Courtesy of Pinterest.   Follow me there, my boards are under momand3kiddos.  🙂 Happy Monday!

xoxo,

Stacy

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Defeating the Bullies

bully n. , pl. , -lies . A person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people.

I’ve been staring at the computer screen off and on for about an hour. I’m trying to find the words to describe what it feels like to be bullied, but I am having a hard time. You may laugh when I speak about being bullied since I am almost 30 years old. It happens though. Bullies come in all shapes, sizes, and ages. People that are all shapes, sizes and ages are bullied every day. It’s a fact of life, but something can be done to stop it.

If you are the bully, enough is enough! By throwing out hurtful words, you are killing somebody on the inside. I don’t know if it makes you feel powerful or smart? Maybe you feel better than everybody else and feel even better when you use your words as a weapon. Whatever the reason is, you need to stop. If you feel superior to anybody around you, that’s your first clue that you are not. Everybody has a flaw, but everybody has a strength too. If you take the time to prey on another person’s weakness, you are the one who is in fact the weak link in the puzzle.

I hear bullies every day. They talk and talk and talk about how terribly a friend or family member is living their life. They talk about how “stupid” these people are. They talk about how great they do things in their own life and nobody else around has a clue. All that stress and negative energy is actually tearing them apart. Of course, if you are the one being bullied, you are being torn apart too. But, turn that around into something good. They are giving you a gift.

Confused? Let me explain.

So, you are being bullied. Whether they are picking on your weight, your height, the way you do your job, whether or not you cook, pushing you around or whatever the reason, you can turn that energy into something great. They are making you so incredibly strong. You are handling more than the average person can handle. You are growing as a person. You are growing because you are going through something and you are overcoming it. After you have been bullied, are you going to want to run out and start belittling your co-worker? More than likely not. They are giving you a gift because you now know how it feels to be hurt. In turn, you will not hurt another person. You will go above and beyond trying to make others feel at home. It doesn’t matter where you are, you have learned what respect is. You have learned that you do not have to tolerate another person who does not respect you. And, you will show every person that enters your life what being respectful is all about.

So, this bully that has been belittling and over-powering you, they are thinking that they are on top of the world. Guess what? They are not. They never will be. If it takes mean words to make them feel tough and powerful, they are the ones who are half an inch tall. Look at them in a different light. Don’t fear them for their strong words. Picture the coward that they actually are. Because if they were actually somebody who’s opinions mattered, they would be using all their negative energy towards random acts of kindness. They would be more like the person you are now becoming, thanks to them and all the strength that those terrible words have given you.

You are important. You matter to the world. You can make a positive impact on this world. Find a way, make a path and charge on through. The only thing this bully will fear, is the new and powerful YOU.

xoxo,

Stacy

The Misery Trap

Sometimes you find yourself surrounded by negativity.  Constant negativity – Constant misery.  You try so hard to fight through this, using your positivity as your shield.  Then, suddenly:

BAM!

You’ve been captured by the misery trap.

Misery hunters often act in the same way as animal hunters, although animal hunters usually hunt as a fun hobby.  Not misery hunters.  They lay out their bait to try to capture their prey.  They feed off of your misery.  This is not for fun.  This is only because misery loves company.

No matter what you do, misery hunters always have something negative to say.  It could be the happiest day of the year, but they would find something to complain about.  You could offer to do things for them, but they would find reasons to complain about what you did.  You don’t do anything right.  They have to do everything because that is the only way it will get done correctly!  It’s a lose-lose situation folks!

YOU

JUST

CAN’T

WIN.

You can’t fight with a martyr.

It’s hard not getting stuck in this misery.  It acts just like quicksand.  You can conquer it though.  Trust me.  It can be done.  When they start going on the misery rampage, block your ears (not literally, but you know what I mean.  Block your ears and then smile and nod. 

Smile and nod.

That’s it.  When they see that they are not getting to you, it’s going to do 1 of 2 things. 

1) It will irritate them and make them even more miserable.  You will hear the mutter and grumbling even louder than before.  They aren’t getting to you and it is going to drive them crazy.

OR

2) They may catch your positivity.  Even if it’s for a split second, your burst of positivity may act like a net being thrown over that misery.  

Either way, just let it roll.   Let it roll right off your shoulders.  Try and fight back as hard as you can.  Don’t sink to their level and fight in a negative manner.  Fight ’em with your positivity.

Smile and nod.

xoxo,

Stacy

 

PAGING ALL HAPPY PEOPLE! Are Any Of You Left?

I’m happy.  I whistle.  I smile.  I laugh.  I sing (terribly, but that’s not my point.)  I like being happy.  I like being around happy people.  I like being excited for a holiday or even just a weekend.  I like finding things to be happy about.  But, why am I finding myself surrounded by such unhappy people?

Can anybody help me out?

Yes, the economy is bad.  True, raises at work have not been handed out in years.  Gas prices are crazy.  Holidays are a lot of work.  Families can get a little crazy this time of year.  Money doesn’t grow on trees.  I could go on and on and on.   But, honestly, is it really THAT bad? 

It probably isn’t.   

It’s so easy to be miserable.  I could fill pages and pages of things to be miserable about, but guess what, I don’t.  I try really hard to find the good in each day.  I try really hard to look forward to fun things coming up. 

It is easy being miserable, you want to know what isn’t easy?  Trying to stay happy surrounded by CONSTANT negativity. 

And that negativity is everywhere.  It’s everywhere!  Moaning and groaning about little things.  Imagine how you would do in a third world country?  Imagine what those people live with everyday?  I bet they aren’t posting about all the aches and pains on Facebook or Twitter.  I bet they deal and I bet they find reasons to appreciate what we are given on this Earth.  I’m not a Saint.  Things upset me, I vent.  There is a normal amount of misery every human encounters.  It’s normal.  What isn’t normal is consistent misery and anger.  Feeling entitled or deprived constantly.  That shouldn’t be the norm in the world today.  The norm should be all the happy people of the world. 

Misery should not be the new little black dress.

I have said things like this in other posts, but I do appreciate life.  I appreciate the fall colors.  I appreciate how beautiful Christmas lights look in the streets.  I appreciate high gas prices, because you know what?  Last year at this time, I didn’t have the van I have now.  I didn’t have gas prices to complain about.  I am much happier with my vehicle than without it.  I am THANKFUL for all I have. 

I am thankful for life.  Without it, we wouldn’t even be able to complain.  Imagine that all my fellow Scrooge and Grinch friends?  No complaining?  If that were the case, you may actually have to smile and be happy!  SCARY!

Please, try to be happier each day.  Positivity is contagious.  Unfortunately, so is negativity.  It is really hard to push through the day only hearing the bad.  Just a little effort will go a long way!   😉

xoxo,

Stacy

Raccoon Eyes And Broken High Heels – When Mommy Tries To Look Pretty.

If only I could wear baseball hats to work!

6am comes pretty fast in my home.  Especially after an interrupted nights sleep that goes a little something like:

“Mommy, can you tuck me in?”

“Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom.”

“Mommy, my cup is almost empty.  If I drink it there will be none left.  May I please have some more?”

I work a 40 hour a week job.  I honestly do try to look nice for it in the mornings.  It is mighty difficult though.  One child needs to get ready for school.  While I am trying to get her to brush her teeth, my 3-year-old is feeding the cat.  That consists of the entire bag of cat food missing the cat’s bowl.  While all of these things are going on, my 2-year-old is waking up with pop tarts stuck into his hair.

This is a normal morning.

I try to hurry up and take a shower.  My Fiance leaves for work before any of us are awake, so it’s just me vs the 3.  I take a 5 minute (if that) semi-warm shower.  I can’t take a hot shower like I would like to because my 2-year-old tends to stick his head into the tub, trying to reach for the toilet paper roll he managed to throw in from across the room. 

After I finish that, I reach for my clothes that I picked out the night before.  I usually set them on the bathroom floor.  On occasion, one of my pant legs will end up in the toilet, thanks to my baby boys trying to “help” me do laundry.  They get the whole wash with water thing, but haven’t gotten the washing machine concept yet.

I then make sure my oldest is on task with her getting ready for school routine. 

“Did you brush your teeth?”

She smiles.  Pieces of breakfast stuck in her gums.

“Go and brush them again.  And use your new toothbrush.   Your brother just through yours in the kitty box.”

Now, it’s time for me to apply make up.  I try the smokey eye look.   I watched a few tutorials and love how it looks.  Liner and shadow applied.  Mirror check and…

I look like a rabid raccoon.

I reach for a wash cloth that has not been splashed with toilet water.  Wash it off and just do my same old routine. 

If my Fiance could see me now, smokey eyes or not, this is not a sexy look.

I reach for my favorite heels and what do you know?  My 3-year-old boy broke them while wearing them around the house.

Ok, all is ok. 

Flip flops it is.  Again.  Pretty much until it snows.

Head count for the kids.  Everyone is ready.  Wash the ink pen off my 2 year olds face.  One more teeth check for my oldest.  Other child has put the soaking wet cat down after trying to give him a bath.  Now, he needs a new outfit. 

I change his clothes.  Allset to go.  Then, sniff, sniff.  Ok, who needs a new diaper? 

Everyone changed.  Out the door.  And then I remember I didn’t do my hair.  Low ponytail or bun for the win.

Being a mommy, not always so glamorous.  But, I wouldn’t change this loco life for the world.

After all, this isn’t Miss America.  It’s just the life of a typical working Mommy in America.

xoxo,

Stacy

Mr & Mrs Know-It-All

You may know Mr & Mrs Know-It-All, in fact, I am sure you do.  They are related to Mr & Mrs Do-No-Wrong and distant cousins of Mr & Mrs Always-Right. 

Mr & Mrs Know-It-All know things before you tell them.  They know things before the news gets the scoop.  They even found out their info before the President had it on his desk! 

They know your income, your shoe size, your thoughts.  They know the weather for next month.  They even know the date of birth of your unborn child, that you haven’t even thought of trying for yet!  They just knew you were going to be trying soon and he had to be born on the day that they thought of!

If you tell them about a concert, they already knew.  If you tell them about a party, they already knew.  If you tell them about your new promotion, they already had a feeling about it and knew it was going to happen before you did!

Mr & Mrs Know-It-All are just that good.  They just really do know everything.  There is never any reason to fight with them, you won’t get anywhere.  If you try to let them know they are in fact a “know it all,” they will just deny it.   They probably knew you were going to fight with them about it anyway. 

That’s what Mrs. Told-You-So said anyway.

xoxo,

Stacy

 

People Perceptions

I was talking to my Fiance today in the car just driving along.  We noticed an antique store and were scoping out the pieces of furniture on the front lawn.  I mentioned how my style has changed so much since my first apartment.  Everything I bought or painted had to be contemporary.  Sleek statues and glass tabletops filled my rooms. Now, I’m more into the antique look.  Thinking I was just blabbing, I was surprised to learn he was just as interested in decor.   He described what it was he used to dream of:  An all white kitchen, black countertops and stainless steel appliances.  He had pretty good ideas and I could picture everything he was saying perfectly.

“I would have loved to have been an interior decorator.”  He said, almost in a shy, but joking tone.

“Why didn’t you do it?”  I asked.

“Look at me!  Who would take me serious when it came to decorating their home?”  He was convincing.

I understood completely what he was saying.  When you think of a male interior decorator, do you automatically see an image of somebody you think fits the job?  Looking at my Fiance, you wouldn’t think “decorator.”  You would probably think of him as somebody who could probably kick your arse.  Knowing him though, he is as sweet as can be.  He would give you the shirt off of his back.  Most probably wouldn’t hire him as an interior decorator, but maybe they would consider him as a carpenter or something similar. 

Why do we all look at somebody and assume their profession.  Why do we assume based on one look?  Why judge based on appearance?   How can you know their work, before you see with your own eyes what they can do?

I would love to be one of those girls who rock the 50’s pin-up look.  The “rockabilly” style with the tattoos and polka dots.  I envy the ladies that can pull it off and am sad to know I wouldn’t be able to keep my job if I tried it.  I spoke about this before at my job and was told there are no visible tattoos or piercings allowed.  “Why?”  I asked.  Well, “because in the insurance profession nobody would take you seriously.”

It makes me angry, but it’s probably true.  What comes to your mind when you see somebody tattooed or pierced?  Not everyone thinks this way, I know.  Majority of the people I know do, sadly.  It’s either not classy in their mind or they don’t understand it.  Therefore, it shouldn’t be allowed in the professional world. 

Says who? 

I do believe America has become more diverse and “tolerant” with different appearances, but I think it could be better.  I think the tolerance needs to go and acceptance needs to come into play.  We need to wipe out all perceptions and get to know others before we judge.  We need to not even think about a person and assume we know their personality based on their appearance.  The guy with the tattoos and scruff may become the best friend you ever had.  The girl rocking her own look may be as talented as the girl next door in the plain jane clothes. 

I feel we should all just give everyone a chance.  Hold at least a few conversations with them before you label.  Just like Mom always said:

 “Don’t judge a book by its cover.”

xoxo,

Stacy

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