Christmas Birthdays Are A Rip Off

I love this season.  Love the Christmas music, the shopping, the lights, I just love everything about this holiday.

There is one thing I hate about it though:

My birthday.

Nobody wants to go out on Christmas Eve or the day after Christmas to celebrate a birthday.  Everybody is ALWAYS busy.  And if they are not busy, I get re-gifted gifts, gifts wrapped in Christmas paper and/or a gift that they saved from Christmas.

It’s a rip off.

I’m older now, so it doesn’t bother me as much anymore.  I don’t even want a gift, but it would be nice to be able to go out and celebrate it once in a while.

As I look back, I must have gotten totally ripped off as a kid.  I bet I would have gotten double the presents had my birthday fallen in the summer months.  My Mom & Dad  did a great job with my birthday though.   They always managed to get my close friends there.  They never wrapped presents from them in wrapping paper, and I really don’t think they gave me a left over Christmas present.  They did good.

But, still Christmas Birthdays are a rip off.

I haven’t even mentioned the fact that you just blink and the whole season is gone.  Christmas flies by and my birthday goes with it!  Most others can look forward to a fun party in a different month, but nope, not me.

Until now.

I’ve decided I am changing my birthday.  That’s right folks, I am now going to celebrate my HALF birthday in the summer time!  No Christmas paper will be there on a hot day, that I can guarantee!

I’ve got it all figured out!

Unless, of course , somebody decides that my birthday theme should be Christmas in July.  😉

xoxo,

Stacy

Stay Positive

Stay Positive

Words to remember! Courtesy of Pinterest.   Follow me there, my boards are under momand3kiddos.  🙂 Happy Monday!

xoxo,

Stacy

Image

Body Type: Needs Improvement

11 years in between photos. Different physique, same heart.

Fat, thick, curvy, chunky, plump, husky, chubby, beefy, cushy, hefty, heavyset, thick-set, whale-like, pot-bellied, over-sized, roly-poly, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah-blah.

In the past decade, my body has changed dramatically. I went from being 19 and fit to 20 and pregnant. At 21, I had my first beautiful baby, a little girl. At 24, I went through a divorce, my weight dropped dramatically. Ages 25 and 26, I gave birth to two, adorable baby boys.

Between the pregnancies and stress, my body fluctuated in probably a very unhealthy way. From curvy to thin, back to thick, down to stickly again, now keeping steady at cushy, I know my body. I also know it may not be as stunning as it has been in the past. I am my biggest judge. What people like myself do not need are the over-critical, real-life judges we have in our every day world.

This is not the Biggest Loser. This is not American Idol. Leave your comments and your words at the door. Even if you think it, just don’t speak it. Unless of course you are Cindy Crawford or Giselle. Being that close to perfection, I could take a critique or two from them. But, if you are from my world, here in the real world. Just zip. Zip, zip, zip.

I am aware of how I look, but I know first hand that there is more to me than the appearance. I give more than I receive. I truly find the beauty in EVERYONE. And I mean everyone. To me, what makes you ugly or beautiful is your personality. If you can sit up on your pedestal, judging every Tom or Betty as they walk on by, on weight or appearance, you are atrocious. “You need to eat all that make up on your face so you are pretty on the inside.” – A random quote on Pinterest. 🙂

I come from a family where it is common to hear the phrases, “oh, she has put on weight!” Or, “wow, is she ever fat!” Hearing this be said about people my entire life, I am pretty intelligent. I know it is said about me. But, here is the thing: I don’t need those words said to realize it. Other people probably have the same eyes as you, the only difference is maybe that they don’t speak the words. Maybe they know me for my personality. Maybe, they know that I used to be teeny-tiny, but they realize that I have housed 3 babies in this belly. They know that I am a very hard worker for my family, I have a desk job and while I sit for 40 hours each week, I am busting my butt mentally.

Maybe, those people who don’t judge on appearance, maybe they see me for ME.

Now, here is a little tip for those that may be trying to be a real, day-to-day judge like Simon Cowell, STOP. Worry about you. See the beauty in everyone! Short, tall, thick, small, perfect complexion or not. Find the good.

We all have an inner light that can make us shine, don’t let your light go out. Find it and brighten somebody’s day! It will feel so much better than judging. Promise. 🙂

xoxo,

Stacy

Defeating the Bullies

bully n. , pl. , -lies . A person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people.

I’ve been staring at the computer screen off and on for about an hour. I’m trying to find the words to describe what it feels like to be bullied, but I am having a hard time. You may laugh when I speak about being bullied since I am almost 30 years old. It happens though. Bullies come in all shapes, sizes, and ages. People that are all shapes, sizes and ages are bullied every day. It’s a fact of life, but something can be done to stop it.

If you are the bully, enough is enough! By throwing out hurtful words, you are killing somebody on the inside. I don’t know if it makes you feel powerful or smart? Maybe you feel better than everybody else and feel even better when you use your words as a weapon. Whatever the reason is, you need to stop. If you feel superior to anybody around you, that’s your first clue that you are not. Everybody has a flaw, but everybody has a strength too. If you take the time to prey on another person’s weakness, you are the one who is in fact the weak link in the puzzle.

I hear bullies every day. They talk and talk and talk about how terribly a friend or family member is living their life. They talk about how “stupid” these people are. They talk about how great they do things in their own life and nobody else around has a clue. All that stress and negative energy is actually tearing them apart. Of course, if you are the one being bullied, you are being torn apart too. But, turn that around into something good. They are giving you a gift.

Confused? Let me explain.

So, you are being bullied. Whether they are picking on your weight, your height, the way you do your job, whether or not you cook, pushing you around or whatever the reason, you can turn that energy into something great. They are making you so incredibly strong. You are handling more than the average person can handle. You are growing as a person. You are growing because you are going through something and you are overcoming it. After you have been bullied, are you going to want to run out and start belittling your co-worker? More than likely not. They are giving you a gift because you now know how it feels to be hurt. In turn, you will not hurt another person. You will go above and beyond trying to make others feel at home. It doesn’t matter where you are, you have learned what respect is. You have learned that you do not have to tolerate another person who does not respect you. And, you will show every person that enters your life what being respectful is all about.

So, this bully that has been belittling and over-powering you, they are thinking that they are on top of the world. Guess what? They are not. They never will be. If it takes mean words to make them feel tough and powerful, they are the ones who are half an inch tall. Look at them in a different light. Don’t fear them for their strong words. Picture the coward that they actually are. Because if they were actually somebody who’s opinions mattered, they would be using all their negative energy towards random acts of kindness. They would be more like the person you are now becoming, thanks to them and all the strength that those terrible words have given you.

You are important. You matter to the world. You can make a positive impact on this world. Find a way, make a path and charge on through. The only thing this bully will fear, is the new and powerful YOU.

xoxo,

Stacy

Serenityville

 Aside from my Fiance and my children, I am surrounded by some extremely strong personality types.  From relatives and friends, whom I see quite often, to co-workers and an ex, I am pretty meek comparatively.  I went from being the shy girl, to finally speaking up.  But, there comes a time where you have to just let some things roll.  This I have learned, but sometimes we all don’t get the same life lessons.  So, here is what I do to cope.

I go to Serenityville. 

It’s the little place I find in my mind where I kind of wipe all of the negativity out.  Whether I need to picture the beautiful landscaping at my favorite parks, to picking up a good book and just losing myself in it, I find Serenityville in my mind. 

When I say those around me have strong personalities, sometimes it goes a little bit further than that.  Sometimes, I don’t just don’t agree.  When I don’t contort to their views, they drill and drill and drill their opinions into my head, hoping I will budge.  Maybe in the past I used to, just to appease them.  But, I think that once you become a Mom, it is so important to hold on to YOUR beliefs.  Not theirs.  Do I need to be rude?  Not at all.  Instead, I tell them I understand what they are saying.  When they don’t stop the texting, the calling, the e-mailing, the repetitiveness or the talking, I find my place in Serenityville and hope they move on to the next person.

Why argue?  No need to fight.  Let it go and find your zone.  They can talk and talk all they want.  You don’t have to fight back to show that you aren’t backing down.  What’s the point?  Let them stress themselves out over nothing.  They can worry about the stress it puts on them.  Don’t let them put it on you too.  

Sometimes your best defense in a fight, is the ability to walk away.

Take a deep breath.  Find some serenity.  Ask yourself if it will matter a year from now.  If it will, then stand up for yourself.  If it’s just the strong-willed people around you doing what it is they do best, just think of that peaceful place and smile. 

The weakest are often those that use their voice and power to try to be heard.  The strong are those who can turn the other cheek.

xoxo,

Stacy 

 

 

 

 

 

You Are Amazing

Dear Reader,

You are amazing. 

Yes, you. 

The one on the other side of this screen peaking in.  You’re amazing in many ways. 

How do I know? 

I just do.  

I catch myself at times comparing my talents to others.  I compare anything from writing, to my job, to parenting, to being a wife, etc.  Sometimes, I put myself on a level that is so far beneath my peers, it hurts my neck to look up at them.  I’m not sure why I do this, but it’s something I’ve always done.  Lately, I have been realizing more and more that I don’t have to do this.  I can be just as good as the next person.  Degree, no degree, stay at home mom or working, I’m not beneath anybody.  I’m me, I have talent and some of those talents are quite amazing.

That’s how I know you (YES, YOU!) are amazing too.  When everyone takes the hand of the person next to them and shows them just how wonderful they are, the world will be a better place.  When we can look at the person across from us and only look at them on a complete and total level, not up, not down, the world will be a better place. 

You can do a great job at that office that you’ve been too afraid to apply to. 

You can do a great job at your daughter’s next PTA meeting. 

You can write a wonderful blog and help thousands of people find a smile.

Yes, you.  You can do anything that you want to do.  There’s no mountain too tall for somebody like you.

For somebody as amazing as you.

xoxo,

Stacy

Post-Divorce – Become Friends With Your Ex

If you are going through the start of a divorce right now, you are probably wondering, “What is this woman thinking!?”  Divorce is painful, hurtful, and while you are going through it, you vow to never speak nicely to your ex again.

But, I promise, in most situations, it does get better.  (NOTE:  This is coming from a person who went through the mother of all divorces, no lie).

I have posted before about how rough my divorce was.  We hated each other.  We didn’t even like each other before the divorce, let alone during and for a short-time after.  But, after almost 4 years and a lot of letting things go, I have learned to be a better person.  Not only for the sake of nerves and stomach ulcers, but for the sake of my beautiful daughter.

If I spend the rest of my daughters childhood hating her Dad, what is that going to teach her?  If I speak poorly of him in front of her, how is that going to make her feel?  Instead, I grew up.  I did a lot of growing.  I find the good.  Do he and I always agree, HECK NO!  We still bicker and get on each other’s nerves, but we can try to work things out for her sake. 

No child needs to grow up in a home where a lot of fighting happens.  Divorced children do not need to grow up in homes where constant parental bashing happens.  Let them grow up in peace. 

Don’t let your child feel jaded before they even start their lives!

Last night, my daughter and I made a diaper cake for her Dad and his fiance’s baby shower.  She is going to feel so proud walking into that shower with something she made for her new baby brother.  I don’t even want to imagine me trying to pull her away from the situation.  My other two children, ages 2 and 3, even helped roll up some of the diapers.  My daughter is and was so excited.  Just because her new sibling isn’t any relation to me, it’s her brother.  I am so excited and happy for her.  And she knows that.

Maybe they didn’t do that for me when I had my two children after the divorce, but it’s ok.  I feel great about myself and I feel great about the example I set. 

Never follow the lead of anybody else.  Make your own path.  In all aspects of life, even divorce. 

Children watch us.  They learn from us.  Never forget that!

“Let your past make you better, not bitter.”  ~ Unknown

xoxo,

Stacy

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