“Merry Christmas Fatty!” (Learn What Not to Say Before Going Out In Public).

 

When I was 14 years old I had an eating disorder.  Somebody had called me fat and I decided I needed to be super skinny like some of my friends.  I got down to less than 100 lbs.  Let me tell you why I will never do this to myself again.  And let me tell you why you shouldn’t either.

I was born with curves.  I have had a big booty since I was a child.  It’s me.  It’s who I am.  It must be genetic.  For a long time I hated my curves.  I thought skinny was the way everybody should look.  Society taught me that skinny was beautiful.  Guys only liked the skinny girls.  You couldn’t be beautiful unless you were a size 2, etc.  It was so unhealthy to have felt these things.  But, as a young adult, you can’t help it. 

As a grown woman, I think society can kiss my voluptuous arse.

Today, one of our outspoken, obnoxious clients said to me, “You can’t be the same girl, my God you have gotten FAT!”  A) Who says this?  B) This is why you are old and still single, and C) Learn the Golden Rule:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

That little rule is the reason I never speak to this client.  My Mother taught me young and for that I am thankful.  She also taught me to love myself no matter what I look like.  I didn’t a long time ago, but I do now.  I’m teaching my children to do the same.

I cried for a bit after he left.  It was already a bad day, but when somebody calls you the “F” word, it hurts.  I know it’s said behind my back, but when you hear it, it hurts.  Words hurt.  Sticks and stones can break my bones, but I think words can hurt a lot worse. 

I was sad, but I will not let him get to me.  I will never starve myself again, instead, I embrace myself.  Yes, I have gained two sizes since my last child.  But, I had a child.  I have 3 beautiful children.  If I could choose to go back in time, keep my skinny girl figure and never have children, I wouldn’t.  I couldn’t.  They are my world and they are worth every lump, bump, flesh, scar and chub on my body.

Curvy, fat, thick, wide, call me what you want.  I love myself.  I know who I am on the inside.  I’m a loving, caring, devoted mother of 3 who is in love with my amazing Fiance & children who love ME for ME.  Not for what I gain or lose.  That’s all that matters. 

No matter what you go through, no matter whose negative words you hear, no matter how bad the bullies get, you choose to love yourself.  Words hurt, but you have the ability to control how you feel.  Own who you are.  Gay, straight, skinny, fat, glasses, freckles, etc.  Do not let a bully control your life.  It gets better.  You learn from past mistakes.  Some day the bully may grow up.  Then again, they may never grow up (like the 70 year old man that said that to me today).  But, you have the ability to own who you are and make everyone else in the world see how important and incredibly amazing you are. 

No matter what flaws they find in you, own them all.  Own it.  Love it.  Embrace it.  And once you do that, everyone will desire it.

xoxo,

Stacy

 

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All This Mommy Wants For Christmas

Christmas Night 2010 🙂

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is one day or even just one morning of peace and quiet.  I love my children.  I love their crazy little ways.  But, out of 365 days in a year, I am just asking for one day, at home with silence.  Golden, beautiful silence.

Santa, This is my Christmas list.

No screaming, no diapers, no climbing into the tub fully clothed.

No getting into mommy’s make up, no hiding sippy cups in the cat box.

No Fireman Sam episodes twenty-five times in a row.

No throwing cereal at each other, no “mommy, I forgot my homework” calls from school.

No yelling into the bathroom, just in time to see mommy poke herself in the eye with mascara.

No hitting mommy’s arm to tattle, causing mommy to butcher her bangs.

No running down 3 flights of stairs just to forget a backpack, a hat or even a shoe. 

No putting hair clips on the cat’s tail.

No hiding mommy’s hairbrush or cell phone.

No waking up with Pop Tarts stuck in the kid’s hair.

I’m really not asking for much Santa.  Knowing me, I will probably miss all of these things if I do get this wish.  I love my morning with my kiddos.  They are always exciting and entertaining. 

But, can we just try it out?  Just once?

Just one day for me to feel pretty.  Perfect curls, a little bit of makeup, un-stained clothing.  That’s all.

Thank you Santa.  I’ll be sure to leave out some milk and cookies.  I can’t promise they will all be there when you arrive.  Mommy’s get hungry too. 🙂

xoxo,

Stacy

I Still Believe In Santa – I’ll Probably Never Stop

My babies with Santa. My oldest loved it. My youngest wasn't so sure. My middle child wouldn't even be within 500 ft.

Some feel it’s a little early to be thinking about the holidays.  They think about the stores, the lines, trying to get it all done, and most of all, the stress the season can bring.  Myself on the other hand?  Oh, I start counting down the day after Christmas. 

I know what you are probably thinking by reading the title of this post:  How can a grown up still believe in Santa?   Christmas was always the best holiday in my house growing up.  My Mom still loves it.  The house was always decorated.  We made our rounds to 4 or 5 relatives homes.  It was the greatest day ever.  I want my kids to believe in the spirit and in order to do that, I still need to believe.

I think many of us get carried away in the hustle and bustle of the shopping and getting everything ready.   We get so lost in the stress, we forget about the magic.  Step back and look around.  Look at the beautiful lights that come that one time a year.  Look at the beauty of the snow fall.  It’s magical if you take the time to see it.  If you can, try to imagine what you felt as a child.  Wouldn’t you love to have the feeling again?  Why even lose it?  Why not feel that way forever?

I want my kids to feel my excitement.  I want it to rub off on them so they never lose the joy.  I never want them to feel like The Grinch.  I want them to be joyous, happy and excited. 

I believe in the magic of the holidays.  I believe in going to bed, excited for the next day to arrive.  I believe in being excited to see the people you love, carefully open the gifts you buy them.  I believe in baking cookies and leaving reindeer food out on Christmas Eve. I believe in the reason we have this holiday. 

And, I believe in Santa.

81 days left until the big day.  Better start believing! 🙂

xoxo,

Stacy