Debbie Downer Come Down From Your Pedestal.

Debbie Downer sits up high on her pedestal.  She can see above everyone.  She can see every mistake you make.  Anything you do is a mistake in her eyes.  Anything you dream is wrong.  Anything you hope for will never happen.  She knows everything, she does everything better than you can do.  She knows you will never go anywhere.  

She knows she is so much better than you.

If you have a child out-of-wedlock, you are automatically a loser.  If you didn’t go to college, you’re even more of a loser.  If you work beside her, you don’t do half as much work as she does.  If you are her neighbor, your life is dysfunctional.  If you are her friend, her opinions are the only ones that matters.  If you are her children, if you don’t do things her way, you will go nowhere in life. 

Wait, there’s more.

If you give up a child for adoption, you are a loser with no values.  If you are adopted, you aren’t a “real” member of your family.  If you file bankruptcy, you are cheap and could have paid your bills. If you collect from the State, you are a moron with no real ailment.  If you have State Insurance, it’s unfair that she has to pay for your bills.  If you’re wealthy, you probably had everything handed to you.  If your marriage fails, you have no class.  If you don’t bring in a lot of money, you must be on welfare.  Another loser.

Debbie Downer can make you feel like you are only an inch tall.  She talks and talks and talks until your heart starts to hurt.  You see, Debbie Downer does not care who she hurts with her words.  She doesn’t think before she speaks.  She has such a narrow mind, any idea that you throw out there is intercepted by her negative thoughts.  She cannot open her mind.  By not having an open mind, Debbie Downer is a very miserable person.

I feel sorry for her.

Debbie Downer could never have a heart filled with love.  She could never wish somebody luck without thinking something negative right in her next breath.  She really needs to realize that everyone around her does not look up to Debbie Downer. 

They look away from her.

It’s hard to talk to somebody who only believes in their opinions. 

 Why would your children come to you and talk about great news if you are only going to point out the bad?  They just want to be loved.

People who want their children to have a better life give them up for adoption.  That’s love.

People who are adopted grow up with their family.  That’s it.  Just their family.  Not their real or fake family.  Family is love.

Friends who may have job opportunities don’t want somebody to tell them all the reasons they won’t be hired.  They want to know all the qualities you love about them.  They want to know why they WILL be hired. 

Debbie Downer, please come back down from that pedestal.  Come back to reality.  Maybe after you accept us all for who we are, even if you don’t believe in our thoughts and opinions, maybe you will find some more positivity and love in your heart.

Who wouldn’t want to feel more love?  The only thing negativity does is bring you down and it brings down everybody around you.

Debbie Downer, love and be loved back.  You’ll love, love.  I promise.

xoxo,

Stacy

 

Kiddos Say The Silliest Things. :)

“How do you make a tissue dance?  Put a little boogie in it!”  7-year-old comedian.

“Look, a bubble sweater.  Look, a bubble hat.  Look, a bubble butt!”  Said while 3-year-old was in the tub.

“Momma, I love your hair.  It’s so beautiful!  Can I have some candy now?”  3-year-old.

“Please stop poking your brother’s belly button!”  Said to 2-year-old who wouldn’t leave 3-year-old alone.

“Where did you get so smart!”  7-year-old to 3-year-old.

“At the baby store!”  3-year-olds answer.

“Momma, how do you change a baby rapper?  Put a little rhyma into the diapa!”  7-year old comedian again.

“Chillax sissy!”  3-year-old to 7-year-old.

“There’s only such thing as boyfriends, girlfriends and friends.”  7-year-old.

“And babyfriends!”  3-year-old.

“Knock knock.  Who’s there?  Aha Aha who?  Yucky apple!”  2-year-old who doesn’t quite have the knock, knock joke down yet.

“Mater,  you are not my friend anymore!”  3-year-old to his toy.

“Christmas is Jesus’ birthday.  Do you know who Jesus is?”  To my 3-year-old.

“Yes.  He is a mister who loves cake!”  3-year-old’s answer.

“Why daylight savings?  It’s like punishment for adults.”  Fiance.

xoxo,

Stacy

Mommy, Are You Hiding Candy From Me!?

Halloween candy.  The kiddos work so hard to get their buckets full of all kinds of candy.  So, when what I am about to tell you happened, I felt incredibly guilty.

But, it was so worth it.

It was about 10pm, hubby-to-be and I were rummaging through all the candy buckets.  We were actually trying to remove all peanut butter, peanut, soy, tree nut infested candies.  We didn’t want our 2-year-old, who is allergic to EVERYTHING, to accidentally get ahold of one of those.  Rather than tossing them away, we decided not to waste any. 😉  He tossed me a package of peanut M&Ms.  It was late, so it was safe to indulge.  Or at least I thought it was.

I tore open the package.  All of a sudden, he appeared.

“Mommmmmmmma!”

It was like he was a ghost in a movie.  He seriously just appeared out of nowhere!  He was JUST sleeping!

“Momma, do you have our candy?!”

All of a sudden, I was a child again.  I hid the candy under my blanket and quickly answered him.

“No!  I don’t have any candy!  You need to get back to bed!”

“Momma, I know I just heard candy.  I know I did.  Can I have the candy now?”

“Back to bed.  Candy after supper tomorrow night.”

“But, you and Daddy are having candy!”

“Back to bed!”

He went back to bed.  I went back to my candy.  I continued hiding it under the blanket, just in case another child came out to catch me in the act.  I had to eat it quickly and I had to be sneaky. 

The next morning on the way to school, I had thought my 3-year-old would have forgotten about this incident.  Sadly, he did not. 

“Momma, it is not nice to eat our trick-or-treat candy!  Momma, it’s just not nice!”

“I’m sorry Aiden.”

“Really Momma?  Really?!  You ate our candy!” 

Yup, for once my 7-year-old was paying attention to the conversation.  Although, I should have known her ears would be in tune when candy was involved. 

Next year, all the peanut candy gets taken to work with us.  At least then, we won’t have to hide to eat it. 😉

xoxo,

Stacy

I’m Not You – But, I Am The Best Me That I Know How To Be.

 

I may not be a gourmet chef, but my kids say I make the meanest meatloaf around.

I may not be able to jump into a new career on a whim, but I am pretty darn good at the job I do.

I may not be the skinniest of all the moms in the world, but I know how to rock the curves I have.

I may not be an award-winning writer, but I love reading comments from those I have helped by blogging.

I may not be the best at socializing, but when we do become friends, I’ll have your back for life.

I may not be able to sing very well, but I’ll have you crying from laughing when you see me bust a move.

I may not be a trophy wife, but I’ll love my man as much as I did when we met, until death do us part.

I may not be able to stay home with my babies, but I work with all I have to give them the best there is out there.

I may not have been able to breast feed for more than a few months, but I made sure I did for as long as I could.

I may not be able to keep up with the Jones’s, but sometimes you would never know thanks to the bargain hunting I do.

I may not have a super, spotless house, but my kids and I have so much fun playing each and every night.

You are the best YOU that you can be.  And I happen to be the best ME that I know how to be.   

Always remember, what works for you, may not work for everyone.  Accept everyone for who they are.  Not for who you want them to be.

xoxo,

Stacy

I’m Allowed To Be Angry

I’ve developed a reputation of being incredibly optimistic.  I get overly excited for silly things, like decorating for the holidays, Black Friday or even Daylight savings.  I am there for people all the time who have a bad day.  I love lifting up spirits and making someone’s day.  I like my children to see a positive me, so hopefully they grow up seeing the glass half full.

However, I am allowed angry days too. 

I get mad.  I get my feelings hurt.  Sometimes, I cannot just brush things off and move on.  Sometimes I hold grudges.  I shouldn’t, but like any other human, I do it too.  Sometimes, I don’t want to deal with issues I have with family members, such as leaving me out of everything.  Sometimes, I cannot just smile and nod.  Sometimes, I can be stubborn.  People that witness these days hide from me.  What do you do when the one that’s positive all the time suddenly feels like being grumpy for a day?

Generally the peacemaker, when it’s me feeling these feelings and not wanting to attend family functions, I feel so much guilt.  Although I have many reasons to feel the way I do, I still feel like I am obligated to suck it up and attend.  The past year or so, I just cannot do it anymore.  I cannot pretend to be content with situations, when I really am not.

Did having 3 kids make me suddenly want to stand up for myself?  I don’t know.  Was it going through a divorce and developing a brand new attitude?  I don’t know that either.  I just know that for the first time in my life, I am allowing myself to feel and show the emotions that I have been hiding for years and years.  It feels pretty damn good too.

So, I am sure by the time the family functions that I am trying so hard to avoid get here, I will have probably decided to attend.  Just because that’s me.  But, I won’t just smile and nod anymore.  I will stand up for myself.  I will not let people walk on me anymore.  I will just be the me that I want everybody to see.  Even my angry side.

I can still be my happy-go-lucky, countdown to Christmas self, just with an occassional bad day.  And it will be ok.  It will be ok, because I am human too. Hey, maybe it will even allow one person to step up and be the positive one for a change? 😉

xoxo,

Stacy

When They Are All Grown Up, Will Those Dirty Dishes Matter?

We opted for the fair this weekend, rather than the dishes.

I work 40 hours a week, my Fiance puts in 40 hours plus a week.  By the time we get home at night, it’s close to 5:30-6:00pm.  I see the laundry that needs to be put away.  I see the dirty dishes from the night before.  But, most importantly, I see my 3 babies that I haven’t seen all day.

We play games.  We may do a craft.  My daughter is in 2nd grade, so we will do her homework and read.  We do bath time, family supper time (we are one of those odd families that eat all together, we pick a few kids shows to watch, and then by 8:30 it’s bed time.

I admit, I get a little overwhelmed looking around at the household chores we neglected to do.  We may do a little bit to ease our minds, but majority will sit there until our free weekend day.  Thankfully we are not talking about an episode of Hoarders, just clothes, toys and all that good stuff.

Some people don’t do it this way.  Some people are able to clean up and stay home with the kids.  We choose to spend our time with our children first.  They have their chores.  They know what responsibilities are.  But, really, with only really 2-3 hours to spend with them each night, can the dishes wait?

We think they can.

You don’t have to agree.  You don’t have to like it.  But, when our babies are all grown up and moved away, we will have all the time in the world to tidy up each day.

xoxo,

Stacy

It’s My Turn To Vent And You’re Going To Listen!

Many vent sessions happy with these ladies at work!

I tend to be “that” person that people come to with problems.  I could be minding my own business at the beach or park and it never fails, somebody always starts chatting to me about their life.  I don’t mind, I actually don’t mind at all.  But man, sometimes it’s my turn and I want whoever it is to give me the same attention I always give them!

Now, I am not going to start conversing with a stranger about my personal life.  I don’t mind if people do that to me, but I am fairly private.  I share things on here or on my social media sites, but there is a whole lot more to me that I keep personal.  But, when I do feel the need to talk, I expect my friends, co-workers, family, whomever, to want to listen and be there for me.  I always listen to them and I feel entitled to a session now and then.  However, that does not always happen.

I have a few friends and family members that I can go to, night or day.  I can vent and vent about anything to them.  They are always there!   Thank goodness for them.  Thank goodness for my Fiance who is literally there 24/7.  My issues are with the one-sided friends.  The friends that come to me, need a shoulder.  The friends that I am there for day in and day out.  The friends that, when I go to them, they turn their head or change the subject.  I just want to scream, “HELLO!  I AM HERE TOO YOU KNOW!”

Things have got to change, but can they?

I almost wonder if they even realize they do this?  Do they even think to ask about my children, my day, my job, my life?  In the hours of conversations that consist of them using the words, “me, myself and I” over and over again, do they ever once think about asking about my life?  Or do I not have one in their eyes?  Is it too boring and uninteresting to talk about?  It doesn’t have to do with them of course, but maybe even one split second of unselfish thought? 

I use the term “friend” loosely here.  I have a very hard time considering any one-sided friendship an actual friendship.  It’s more of a therapist – patient relationship.  It’s really sad to have to feel that way, but I’m certain many of us have these “friendships.”  I have talked to a few of these people about this, but things never change.  I will go weeks or months before we speak.  I’ll try to reach out, but nothing ever comes of it.  That is, until they need a shoulder to cry on.

Silly me though will continue to be there.  I just cannot turn my back on a person that needs a friend.  I will continue to listen and continue to be ignored by them.  But, I thank my lucky stars every day that I have my Fiance, a few close friends and some amazing family members.  And social media sites and my blog so I can vent if no ears are available! 😉

What more does a girl need? 🙂

xoxo,

Stacy