Yo Momma!

It’s funny how each year of grade school, a new problem surfaces.  We had the Kindergarten napping stage.   First grade, it was the nose picker’s class.  Second grade, we had a little bit of bullying which caused some anxiety issues.   

Now, for the third grade issue, you may need to brace yourself.   The topic may be sensitive for some.  Our third grade issue is none other than:

Wait for it…

Yo Momma jokes.

Yes.  You read that correctly. 

Yo Momma’s so fat when she wears a yellow rain coat people yell, “taxi!”

Yes.  Yo Momma jokes caused my third grader to cry. She’s never known such a terrible game.  Nobody talks about her Momma that way!

After I was done trying not to laugh, I had to explain to her how long these jokes have been around.  I told her not to take these things so literally.  Her momma may have a big booty, but when a boy says, “Yo Momma’s so fat she has to use two busses for her rollerblades” he is just telling a joke.  He wants to make her laugh.

“Ohhhh, I think I understand now,” she said.  “Like, ‘Yo Momma’s so fat when she goes to the zoo, the elephants throw her peanuts!’ But, that doesn’t really happen!?”  Giggle, giggle.

“Yes, honey.  I think you are getting the hang of this.”

“Like, ‘Yo Momma’s so fat, when she wears lipstick she uses a paint roller!’  Right, Mom?” As the giggles become even louder.

“Ok, no more Yo Momma jokes.  Now you know to just laugh and not get so upset, right?”

“Ok Momma.  I want to learn a whole bunch of Yo Momma jokes now!”

“I know you do, honey.”

So that was the big, third grade dilemma this morning. 

I can’t hardly wait to see what fourth grade is going to bring! 

P.S.  My personal favorite has always been, “Yo Momma’s so ugly, every time she walks by a toilet it flushes itself!”  But, please do not tell my third grader the Yo Momma Uglies exist!  I think the fat jokes are enough for now. 😉

Xoxo,

Stacy

Stay Positive

Words to remember! Courtesy of Pinterest.   Follow me there, my boards are under momand3kiddos.  🙂 Happy Monday!

xoxo,

Stacy

Body Type: Needs Improvement

11 years in between photos. Different physique, same heart.

Fat, thick, curvy, chunky, plump, husky, chubby, beefy, cushy, hefty, heavyset, thick-set, whale-like, pot-bellied, over-sized, roly-poly, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah-blah.

In the past decade, my body has changed dramatically. I went from being 19 and fit to 20 and pregnant. At 21, I had my first beautiful baby, a little girl. At 24, I went through a divorce, my weight dropped dramatically. Ages 25 and 26, I gave birth to two, adorable baby boys.

Between the pregnancies and stress, my body fluctuated in probably a very unhealthy way. From curvy to thin, back to thick, down to stickly again, now keeping steady at cushy, I know my body. I also know it may not be as stunning as it has been in the past. I am my biggest judge. What people like myself do not need are the over-critical, real-life judges we have in our every day world.

This is not the Biggest Loser. This is not American Idol. Leave your comments and your words at the door. Even if you think it, just don’t speak it. Unless of course you are Cindy Crawford or Giselle. Being that close to perfection, I could take a critique or two from them. But, if you are from my world, here in the real world. Just zip. Zip, zip, zip.

I am aware of how I look, but I know first hand that there is more to me than the appearance. I give more than I receive. I truly find the beauty in EVERYONE. And I mean everyone. To me, what makes you ugly or beautiful is your personality. If you can sit up on your pedestal, judging every Tom or Betty as they walk on by, on weight or appearance, you are atrocious. “You need to eat all that make up on your face so you are pretty on the inside.” – A random quote on Pinterest. 🙂

I come from a family where it is common to hear the phrases, “oh, she has put on weight!” Or, “wow, is she ever fat!” Hearing this be said about people my entire life, I am pretty intelligent. I know it is said about me. But, here is the thing: I don’t need those words said to realize it. Other people probably have the same eyes as you, the only difference is maybe that they don’t speak the words. Maybe they know me for my personality. Maybe, they know that I used to be teeny-tiny, but they realize that I have housed 3 babies in this belly. They know that I am a very hard worker for my family, I have a desk job and while I sit for 40 hours each week, I am busting my butt mentally.

Maybe, those people who don’t judge on appearance, maybe they see me for ME.

Now, here is a little tip for those that may be trying to be a real, day-to-day judge like Simon Cowell, STOP. Worry about you. See the beauty in everyone! Short, tall, thick, small, perfect complexion or not. Find the good.

We all have an inner light that can make us shine, don’t let your light go out. Find it and brighten somebody’s day! It will feel so much better than judging. Promise. 🙂

xoxo,

Stacy

Defeating the Bullies

bully n. , pl. , -lies . A person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people.

I’ve been staring at the computer screen off and on for about an hour. I’m trying to find the words to describe what it feels like to be bullied, but I am having a hard time. You may laugh when I speak about being bullied since I am almost 30 years old. It happens though. Bullies come in all shapes, sizes, and ages. People that are all shapes, sizes and ages are bullied every day. It’s a fact of life, but something can be done to stop it.

If you are the bully, enough is enough! By throwing out hurtful words, you are killing somebody on the inside. I don’t know if it makes you feel powerful or smart? Maybe you feel better than everybody else and feel even better when you use your words as a weapon. Whatever the reason is, you need to stop. If you feel superior to anybody around you, that’s your first clue that you are not. Everybody has a flaw, but everybody has a strength too. If you take the time to prey on another person’s weakness, you are the one who is in fact the weak link in the puzzle.

I hear bullies every day. They talk and talk and talk about how terribly a friend or family member is living their life. They talk about how “stupid” these people are. They talk about how great they do things in their own life and nobody else around has a clue. All that stress and negative energy is actually tearing them apart. Of course, if you are the one being bullied, you are being torn apart too. But, turn that around into something good. They are giving you a gift.

Confused? Let me explain.

So, you are being bullied. Whether they are picking on your weight, your height, the way you do your job, whether or not you cook, pushing you around or whatever the reason, you can turn that energy into something great. They are making you so incredibly strong. You are handling more than the average person can handle. You are growing as a person. You are growing because you are going through something and you are overcoming it. After you have been bullied, are you going to want to run out and start belittling your co-worker? More than likely not. They are giving you a gift because you now know how it feels to be hurt. In turn, you will not hurt another person. You will go above and beyond trying to make others feel at home. It doesn’t matter where you are, you have learned what respect is. You have learned that you do not have to tolerate another person who does not respect you. And, you will show every person that enters your life what being respectful is all about.

So, this bully that has been belittling and over-powering you, they are thinking that they are on top of the world. Guess what? They are not. They never will be. If it takes mean words to make them feel tough and powerful, they are the ones who are half an inch tall. Look at them in a different light. Don’t fear them for their strong words. Picture the coward that they actually are. Because if they were actually somebody who’s opinions mattered, they would be using all their negative energy towards random acts of kindness. They would be more like the person you are now becoming, thanks to them and all the strength that those terrible words have given you.

You are important. You matter to the world. You can make a positive impact on this world. Find a way, make a path and charge on through. The only thing this bully will fear, is the new and powerful YOU.

xoxo,

Stacy

Don’t Lose Your Smile :)

 

 

 

I’m surrounded by some amazing people.  Friends, family, online friends, some co-workers.  One thing they all have in common lately is:

They have all lost their smile.

Maybe it’s the winter blues going around.  Maybe it’s the holiday season being packed away for another year.  Maybe it’s the cold, the snow, the urge to have a nice summer tan.  It could be many different reasons, but it’s time to start flashing that smile again.

I am guilty of it too.  Once in a while, I find myself having a “woe is me” day.  Luckily, I snap out of it pretty quickly.  We all need to look around and find things that make us happy.  Maybe the diamond-like shine of the snow on the trees.  Maybe the hot cup of coffee we take for granted every morning.  Maybe the miracles we see every time we look at our children. 

Just smile.

We have so much all around us to smile about.  Like it’s sung in a Train song, we’re “on a spinning ball in the middle of space!”  How cool is that!? 

If you feel like you don’t have much to smile about, find something!  Go grab the brightest shade of nail polish.  Pick up a sports magazine.  Do a little craft that you find on www.pinterest.com (my new favorite site).  Find things to smile about!

We can all be negative and miserable.  It’s so easy.  All we have to do is flip on the news.   Don’t be that person that has to broadcast it.  It’s easy to find fault in people and pick them apart, but the more you concentrate on the negative, the less you are going to be happy.

Find the good and shine! 

Look to the sun, feel the warmth, look at the beautiful trees, look at your children, listen to them laugh, blast your favorite CD, do a craft, go snowmobiling, take some photos, play a video game, exercise, etc, etc, etc!

Show that beautiful smile to the world!  Like a yawn, they are contagious! 😉

xoxo,

Stacy

Momma, Get Fit! Don’t Quit!

I’m determined.

My thighs, jiggly arms, butt, calves, belly and gobble, gobble chin will be toned by summer time. 

I don’t believe in resolutions because I feel they always fall through.  Instead, I am doing this on my own time.  That time just happened to be the second week of January.  Prime resolution time.

But, honestly, here is what/who got me off my butt: 

Dr. Phil.

I know. 

I never turn on talk shows, I work until 5.  For some reason, the kiddos were not home yet, so I decided to flip it on.  When I turned it on I saw a few sisters who could not shed weight.  Dr. Phil suggested they try a new diet called the, “P.I.N.K. Method.”  I am not one for fad diets, but this caught my eye.

Maybe it was the color pink?  I am a sucker for pink, but regardless, I am starting it and sticking with it. 

It’s the kind of diet that seems to be perfect for me.  I can do all of the workouts at home.  I have no time to go to the gym working 40 hours a week and with 3 kids.  No way that can work for me.  I go out walking, but not as often as I would like.  The meals seem simple, filling and yummy.  And, there are no pills or hormones to take.

In just one week I have already drastically changed my eating habits.  Tuna, eggs, cucumbers, carrots, etc.  I feel amazing.  It’s only been a week.  I didn’t even get the diet kit until today!  I just want this and I want this now.

I stopped taking care of myself after my children were born.  As long as they ate healthy, I didn’t care what I put into my body.  I was eating fast food, cupcakes, all kinds of sweets.  These things are fine, but in moderation.  I want to be healthy for my children.  I want to chase them around and have them need to try keeping up with me.  I want to be there for them for as long as I can.

I need to start somewhere and that somewhere is here and now.

So, will I get to my goal weight?  Maybe.  If I don’t it’s ok.  My habits have already changed.  No more toxic waste will be put into my body.  I can do this.  I will do this.  Even if it takes over a year.  I’ll get there.

I won’t quit.

xoxo,

Stacy

Post-Divorce – Become Friends With Your Ex

If you are going through the start of a divorce right now, you are probably wondering, “What is this woman thinking!?”  Divorce is painful, hurtful, and while you are going through it, you vow to never speak nicely to your ex again.

But, I promise, in most situations, it does get better.  (NOTE:  This is coming from a person who went through the mother of all divorces, no lie).

I have posted before about how rough my divorce was.  We hated each other.  We didn’t even like each other before the divorce, let alone during and for a short-time after.  But, after almost 4 years and a lot of letting things go, I have learned to be a better person.  Not only for the sake of nerves and stomach ulcers, but for the sake of my beautiful daughter.

If I spend the rest of my daughters childhood hating her Dad, what is that going to teach her?  If I speak poorly of him in front of her, how is that going to make her feel?  Instead, I grew up.  I did a lot of growing.  I find the good.  Do he and I always agree, HECK NO!  We still bicker and get on each other’s nerves, but we can try to work things out for her sake. 

No child needs to grow up in a home where a lot of fighting happens.  Divorced children do not need to grow up in homes where constant parental bashing happens.  Let them grow up in peace. 

Don’t let your child feel jaded before they even start their lives!

Last night, my daughter and I made a diaper cake for her Dad and his fiance’s baby shower.  She is going to feel so proud walking into that shower with something she made for her new baby brother.  I don’t even want to imagine me trying to pull her away from the situation.  My other two children, ages 2 and 3, even helped roll up some of the diapers.  My daughter is and was so excited.  Just because her new sibling isn’t any relation to me, it’s her brother.  I am so excited and happy for her.  And she knows that.

Maybe they didn’t do that for me when I had my two children after the divorce, but it’s ok.  I feel great about myself and I feel great about the example I set. 

Never follow the lead of anybody else.  Make your own path.  In all aspects of life, even divorce. 

Children watch us.  They learn from us.  Never forget that!

“Let your past make you better, not bitter.”  ~ Unknown

xoxo,

Stacy

No New Year’s Resolution For Me

I love the idea of a fresh start each and every year.  The ball drops down and we take in the thoughts of a brand New Year.  Like most, I always have my New Year’s resolutions:  Lose weight, go to the gym, be positive 24/7, etc.  But, to be perfectly honest with you all (and with myself), the resolution lasts about a month. 

Or a week.

I decided to try a new approach for 2012.  I’m not going to force myself to the gym, but I am going to do things that I enjoy doing.  I’m going to walk more, I am going to make healthy choices and I am going to do it without putting pressure on myself.  I want to be more positive, I want to let other people’s words roll if they are negative.  Instead of waiting until the New Year, I am starting to do this now.  I mean, why not?

If I fall off track a day, it will be ok.  I’ll know where to pick the pieces back up.  I won’t wait for another year to start over.  I’ll just start fresh tomorrow. 

Why wait for a New Year to be the person that you want to be?

Happy New Year!

xoxo,

Stacy

A Holiday Grudge – Forgive or Forget?

It’s the season for being cheery.  Lights, snowmen, gifts, parties, and families, it’s a time when everyone gets together to celebrate the season. 

It’s also time to hide from unwanted confrontations.

What should you do if you haven’t spoken to a family member in a very long time?  What if they have done something to hurt you over the last year?  Do you let it go and arrive with a fake holiday smile, or do you pass the gathering by, maybe even breaking tradition?

Personally, I have a really hard time being fake.  Actually, I cannot be fake.  For me, I would most likely be sitting in a corner somewhere, watching the children open their gifts.  I would be avoiding any person that has set me off in the last year.  I am not one to hold grudges, I can forgive and forget very quickly.  Only when many things build up and build up do I start to pull away.

It takes a lot to make me angry.  Once I get to that point though, it is very hard for me to let things go.  I just can’t be fake.

I don’t want to break tradition, but I don’t want to go some place and be uncomfortable.  I don’t want to disappoint my children, but I also don’t want them to witness any bickering, God forbid that would even occur.  I really hate confrontation.

So, this is my Christmas dilemma.  Do I burn the bridge or do I mend it? 

xoxo,

Stacy

“Merry Christmas Fatty!” (Learn What Not to Say Before Going Out In Public).

 

When I was 14 years old I had an eating disorder.  Somebody had called me fat and I decided I needed to be super skinny like some of my friends.  I got down to less than 100 lbs.  Let me tell you why I will never do this to myself again.  And let me tell you why you shouldn’t either.

I was born with curves.  I have had a big booty since I was a child.  It’s me.  It’s who I am.  It must be genetic.  For a long time I hated my curves.  I thought skinny was the way everybody should look.  Society taught me that skinny was beautiful.  Guys only liked the skinny girls.  You couldn’t be beautiful unless you were a size 2, etc.  It was so unhealthy to have felt these things.  But, as a young adult, you can’t help it. 

As a grown woman, I think society can kiss my voluptuous arse.

Today, one of our outspoken, obnoxious clients said to me, “You can’t be the same girl, my God you have gotten FAT!”  A) Who says this?  B) This is why you are old and still single, and C) Learn the Golden Rule:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

That little rule is the reason I never speak to this client.  My Mother taught me young and for that I am thankful.  She also taught me to love myself no matter what I look like.  I didn’t a long time ago, but I do now.  I’m teaching my children to do the same.

I cried for a bit after he left.  It was already a bad day, but when somebody calls you the “F” word, it hurts.  I know it’s said behind my back, but when you hear it, it hurts.  Words hurt.  Sticks and stones can break my bones, but I think words can hurt a lot worse. 

I was sad, but I will not let him get to me.  I will never starve myself again, instead, I embrace myself.  Yes, I have gained two sizes since my last child.  But, I had a child.  I have 3 beautiful children.  If I could choose to go back in time, keep my skinny girl figure and never have children, I wouldn’t.  I couldn’t.  They are my world and they are worth every lump, bump, flesh, scar and chub on my body.

Curvy, fat, thick, wide, call me what you want.  I love myself.  I know who I am on the inside.  I’m a loving, caring, devoted mother of 3 who is in love with my amazing Fiance & children who love ME for ME.  Not for what I gain or lose.  That’s all that matters. 

No matter what you go through, no matter whose negative words you hear, no matter how bad the bullies get, you choose to love yourself.  Words hurt, but you have the ability to control how you feel.  Own who you are.  Gay, straight, skinny, fat, glasses, freckles, etc.  Do not let a bully control your life.  It gets better.  You learn from past mistakes.  Some day the bully may grow up.  Then again, they may never grow up (like the 70 year old man that said that to me today).  But, you have the ability to own who you are and make everyone else in the world see how important and incredibly amazing you are. 

No matter what flaws they find in you, own them all.  Own it.  Love it.  Embrace it.  And once you do that, everyone will desire it.

xoxo,

Stacy